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“It’s not about you” By: Blogger Olivia

2011-12-07T21:49:00.001-05:00

So how do we go about telling our family and friends that we are engaged? This question was one of the first ones, I asked Mike shortly after his proposal. A part of me wanted to yell it from the rooftops…but a larger part wanted to simply bask in our new found status. However, being from the South we already knew that news had a way of traveling at lightning speed-especially when we weren’t being the messengers so we decided that we would personally tell our families and find a better way to tell our friends.

Our chosen method was to discreetly change both our Facebook “relationship statuses”. Since it was nearly midnight by the time we left dinner the night of the proposal we figured that would be a perfect time. Little did we know that EVERYONE was seemingly online in the middle of the night, so when I changed mine I instantly started to get posts to my page with things like “haha very funny” and “you play too much” (did I mention that I have a sick sense of humor)….So no one believed me until he changed his! From roughly 12:30 a.m. until 2:00 a.m. I responded to messages of congratulations and well wishes. We felt so loved. I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

That smile was short lived, when around 8 a.m., I started receiving phone calls and questions like “oh I know I’m a bridesmaid right?” and “can I go with you because I don’t want to be wearing an ugly dress girl!” I’m sitting here thinking “are you serious?” I called Mike in tears (he was of course sleeping well). I could not believe that we were already being bombarded with all these demands and requests! We hadn’t been engaged 24 hours yet! We had even set a date yet!

But I would not be punked! I did what any self-respecting plan-things-down-to-a-tee first time bride would do in this situation. I turned off my phone…..logged off Facebook….and went back to bed!

How did you announce your wedding?

Talk to you soon!

Olivia

Mike and Olivia - By: Blogger Bride Olivia

2011-11-14T21:28:00.001-05:00

Welcome World!!!! You have just entered the made-for-TV-movie that is our engagement and upcoming wedding. I’m Olivia and my fiancé’s name is Michael. We are both native South Louisianans and we love all things SOUTH! Our wedding is planned for November 2012, which seems like it’s a lifetime away!

My fiancé is an amazing man and let me say up front that I am blessed to have him in my life. We met at church but if you know us you know it was not at all that simple. HE STALKED ME!!!! Although we were at the same church I did not know him. He requested me as a friend on Facebook, and I accepted because he was a member of the church. My thought was “oh one of my church members”. I also knew he was related to my pastor so I wasn’t worried about him being a psycho! Well one weekend I went to visit one of my sorority sisters in Dallas. She and I had just come in from a fun night out and I decided to check my emails. I had an email from Mike and although I was hesitant to respond I did. Many emails and phone calls later and here we are...Boring story? Don't worry if you ask Mike his version, it will contain flying monkeys and unicorns!

The Proposal: After a very long and stressful week we decided to go do what we do best....EAT. We met with his sister and brother-in-law under the guise of planning a surprise event for his parents. During the evening of food and fun, Mike slipped a little black box onto the table. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the box and immediately freaked...and I guess as they say the rest was history.
Our plan is that our wedding will be a weekend of fun, family, and fellowship. It will be classy and elegant, while maintaining our southern sense of style with food and music. We can’t wait!! And we can’t wait to share our planning with everyone.

Talk to you soon,
Bride Olivia

I Vow! By: Blogger Bride Elizabeth

2011-09-14T09:53:00.000-04:00

The past couples of weeks have flown by and now as I look at the calendar November is less than two months away. With the time getting shorter and my to do list getting longer, one important thing had yet to be done. My future hubby and I had yet to sit down and work on our ceremony and order of service. I have always felt that the ceremony was the most important part of the wedding for me. It’s the moment that you vow in front of GOD and your family and friends to take this person for all that they are, and that you will love them unconditionally. My fiancé and I finally sat down armed with a wedding ceremony book that our minister gave us to add our own personal details to our wedding ceremony. We sat down and planned together the greeting to the dismissal with blessing (smile) We were even able to sit down and pick out scriptures that are special to us as a couple. The best part was when we began to think about our wedding vows. We have decided to write our own vows. I am so excited and anxious to hear what we each have written to express our love for each other.

For the ceremony I want people to feel as though they have taken a sneak peek into our relationship. I want it to be intimate and romantic. I already know that I’m going to be a big water bucket. It is incredible to me to think about after six years of ups, downs, joys and pains. But, I will walk down the aisle only to arrive at the altar standing with my partner in life and in love. Everyone says that the moment will go by so fast. Above all else when we are in the church in front of our family and friends I want to live in the moment. I want to soak up all the love that I can stand. Oooo wee I am getting all misty eyed and emotional just thinking about it. You know, that is what it is all about that moment when you are standing there pledging your love. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Elizabeth

Just Breathe By: Blogger Elizabeth

2011-08-14T11:30:00.001-04:00

As I look at the calendar on my desk that was gifted to me by a co-worker at my workplace bridal shower. I see the numbers staring at me 100 days to go! What the what!! I say. Just the other day I remember my fiancé slipping the ring on my finger and the roller coaster of wedding planning began. Even though we are as close to our moment as husband and wife. I sometimes feel like where did all the time go?

I sometimes think have I really taken the time to enjoy our engagement. Cherish these moments as a fiancé, the phase were you are preparing to be someone’s life mate. Or have I been so consumed with wedding planning that I have forgotten to soak in the moment? I have heard recently from the mom of one of my flower girls “You are handling it all with a lot of grace.” “You may be going crazy on the inside, but you are doing an amazing job of not showing your stress! “ Very impressed!” I said; well tell my fiancé that, he sees all my crazy moments.

It’s true, I have done a pretty good job of containing that inner bridezilla that all of us brides have. I must admit, I always feel as if I am forgetting something, that I will forget something. So I make sure to check and recheck the checklist. With three months left to go, I have been left uwith no choice but to “JUST BREATHE.” That’s what I am telling myself. Because I am a teacher, school starts in a couple of weeks, and I will have to place the majority of my attention on my 20 first graders who could care less that Ms. Fairley, is getting married soon. I have to Just Breathe, and know that the people I have around me like my FABULOUS wedding planning Rechelle Ward of A-ward winning events (shameless shout out), my reception venue coordinator, my fiancé, and my amazing bridesmaids and other friends and family will step in and help where it’s needed.

This wedding will go on, and even if everything is not as I dreamed it would be. At the end of it all I will be Mrs. Galbreath on November 19, 2011! So as I stare at the calendar that is on my desk, I remember to take the moments and cherish the rest of these next couple of months, to enjoy my soon- to be hubby. And just reside in the moment that we are in. Like someone told me recently “These three months will go by in a week!” So in the meantime Imma just breathe!!!

Happy Planning!

Elizabeth

Magic in the Music

2011-07-11T10:58:00.000-04:00

The other day my fiancé and I had our wedding planning update talk. We discussed all the LONG list of things we have to do for our upcoming wedding. It’s hard to believe that it is only four months away. In spite of all the things on our list the one that got us most excited was the music. Whenever I dream about the time when my now fiancé and I would get married, I never dreamed about how my wedding dress would be, what type of flowers we would have, or even what colors I wanted (besides purple lol). The one thing that I had planned down to the tee was the music. Before I had the ring, I knew what song I would walk down the aisle to.

As you read this, at some moment in time you know you had the same thought about that special song you would use to take that walk towards your future husband to be. Yeah, I know go ahead shake your head, but I believe and always have that music sets the tone. Music has such magical qualities. You can be listening to a song on a radio and it takes you back to a memory that you thought you had forgotten. Music can take you back and you can recall what you were doing, who you were with, and how you were feeling. Music has the power to evoke emotions like no other. So before I even got engaged, I would take the time to listen to music, and I would jot a song down that I heard that I could see us using in our future wedding ceremony and reception.

The time has come that I can actually dust off my list of songs I really have to narrow down my choice of songs to use for the ceremony and reception. My fiancé and I have decided that during the time before the ceremony the guest will be listening to a collection of smooth jazz and r&b songs to set the tone and the mood. The other day while we were discussing music for the ceremony, I was excited that we actually agreed on a song for the wedding party processional. My fiancé and I defiantly have very different styles when it comes to picking out the music, the first thing he said after listening to the song was, “That’s great baby, I like the beat” I looked at him with the “say what?” look. I said “The beat, did you even listen to the words?” Nevertheless I realized that music for me when picking our wedding and reception is much more than just the beat. I want our guest to be able to listen to the words of the songs, and feel as if they are getting a intimate peek at our relationship through song. One of the hardest things for me at this moment when it comes to planning is not the invitations, picking out the right food, the favors, the dress. To me the hardest thing is picking the right song to walk down the aisle to for the Bride Processional. Before I got engaged I told you I had every single song picked to a tee, even my special “bride song”.

Now that it’s four months away, I still am not sure. Say what you want but to me next to the vows, the most intimate moment of my wedding will be walking down the aisle with my father towards my future husband. I want a song that expresses all the love, and joy, and happiness I feel as I walk towards him in preparation to become his wife. So right now I am back and forth between two songs, and only a few people have heard my choices. I know, I’m keeping my song choice under tight security, much like my wedding dress I want that to be a surprise for everyone on that day. I know that looking at bridal websites like forblackweddings.com has helped me as to given me different music choices for our wedding ceremony and reception. Just the other day I know I emailed the list of songs for the Mother-Son dance for the reception from forblackweddings.com to my fiancé to help him with his music selection. I really want to know from my brides to be and those that have already jumped the broom, is there really “Magic in the Music”? Did you know right away what your special “bride song” would be? What type of music are you incorporating in your wedding ceremony and reception?

Happy planning

Elizabeth

Don’t forget to RSVP… Please!! Blogger Bride: Elizabeth

2011-06-09T09:54:00.001-04:00

It's five months until our forever, so I decided to order the wedding invitations. This is the only task on my to do list that causes me to cringe. Is cringe the wrong word? Maybe I should add worry into that to. Ordering the invitations signify so much, for one it means that the guest list “should” be finalized by now. It also means that I have to face the fact that we have the dreaded four letter word to worry about RSVP! I have always heard horror stories of how couples, who are getting married, always have the hardest time dealing with the guest and RSVPing. Our wedding is somewhat unique in the fact that we are deciding to give our guest a choice of three entrees at our reception. These entrees are ones that my fiancé and I especially love and are special to us and signify our relationship. The guest can pick from a Thai dish, Mexican dish, and a Classic Southern Style Dish.

On our invitation RSVP cards, not only do you have to check whether or not you will be attending, but you also must place your name beside the entrée that you would like to eat at our reception. Even as I was placing the order all I could think about was, our guest better RSVP! Most of my future brides that are in the planning process or even those that have already gone through it can relate. RSVPing is important, when people RSVP you are able to tell your caterer, or reception hall how many guest they can prepare food for, it helps the couple decided about the seating chart for the reception, as well as helping you determine if there are any extra cost that you will acquire due to the number of guest that respond by RSVP. Now I know to explain all of this to your wedding guest is unnecessary, but sometimes I wish I could, so that they will understand when I begin to do my “Bridal Hunt” for their RSVP.

My fabulous wedding planner, Rechelle Ward of A-ward winning events has graciously told me that she would handle the RSVPs and will do the “dirty work” of making sure people respond in a timely fashion. I have strategically ordered my invitations early, and I will be sending them out September 19, 2011 with an October 19, 2011 RSVP return date. Yeah, I know a whole month before the wedding. There is a method to the madness (smile). I know in the end, I can't FORCE anyone to RSVP on time, even if I whip out the “Bridal Hunt you down” threat. All I can do is do my best on my end to make things as easy for the guest as possible, and in turn making things less stressful for myself and my future husband to be.

Brides out there, and all the vets of wedding planning, what has been your experience with RSVPs and guest counts for your wedding.

Was it as stressful as people made it seem? Do you have any suggestions on how to make it easier?

Until the next time!! Happy Planning

Elizabeth

If you haven't purchased your invitations yet shop with us at ForBlackWeddings.com Invitations

Whose Wedding is it Anyway?

2011-05-06T13:29:00.001-04:00

Have you ever experienced when you just buy a new car and your on the road, and every where you look you see the exact make and model of your new car EVERYWHERE? Well it seems that those same strange phenomena happen when you get engaged and are planning your wedding! Weddings just seem to pop up, and you seem to get invited to more and more. This year my fiancé and I have four weddings to go to (not including our own). Even though it is fun to attend weddings especially those of your close family and friends, you can’t help but to attend these weddings like an eager pupil ready to learn that day’s lesson! My fiancé joked with me at the last wedding we attended together. While in the car he said “Babe, you forgot something!” I just looked at him and said “What is it that I have forgotten”. He added “You pad and pencil, so you can take notes.” As I rolled my eyes, I knew it was true. Whenever you get engaged and you are in the mode of planning your wedding, other people’s weddings you go to are just not a cause of celebration, they are a cause to take notes, ideas, and the do’s and don’ts o f the days festivities. You almost feel a sense of guilt while attending these weddings, because instead of enjoying the atmosphere and the whole experience of the day your spending time figuring out the small details that went into planning the day.

At the most recent wedding I actually found myself counting the number of tables and chairs, all while doing the mathematical equation to figure out how many guest the bride and groom had invited and how many had actually attended. I also made sure to listen to the choice of music played at the wedding, take notice and observe the people behind the scenes (wedding coordinator, photographer, and any other vendors I could see that crossed my line of vision). Okay, okay, don’t shake your head and cut your eye at me to hard. I know it’s kind of sad, but it’s almost as if you can’t help it. In six months my fiancé and I will host the biggest party and celebration that we will ever be apart of. I feel like going to other couple’s wedding is a training ground. On the ride home from the wedding we attending, as soon as my fiancé and I got back onto the road home we both looked at each other and almost immediately we said “Go, pros and cons about today!” We couldn’t help but laugh at ourselves, but we spent some time talking about what we enjoyed and what we didn’t enjoy, as well as things we wanted for our own day. It’s almost as if anything wedding related not just attending wedding ceremonies has come a means of getting ideas and seeing how others perceptive on how to plan a wedding.

From visiting sites like ForBlackWeddings.com and reading blogs and other articles it seems like it’s a whole new perspective and it has you asking yourself sometimes “Whose Wedding is it anyway? So in another two weeks, we have another wedding to attend, and you better believe I will be there with a pen and a pad taking in as many notes and ideas as I can. I mean can you blame me?

As you plan your wedding do you feel like you are more critical of others weddings? Or are you using the experience of attending others weddings to gain ideas for your own wedding day?

Share your thoughts!

Until next time! Happy Planning!

Elizabeth

Seeking Counsel

2011-04-13T23:29:00.003-04:00

We finally got our books in the mail! What books, you may ask? Well, our books that we will be using to aid us in our premarital counseling sessions. Before you go shaking your head, or gasping. Yes, my fiancé and I have willing signed up for premarital counseling. We actually consider this a part of the wedding/marriage planning. I have it scheduled right in between picking out the linen and invitations (smile). It’s so funny to think when my fiancé Brandon told me his family asked him are we doing premarital counseling. He said “Liz, I told them, I thought everybody had premarital counseling”. I had to remind him, no honey not everybody does. Now, I don’t think we are better, smarter, or wiser than the next couple. We personally feel that in order to build a successful foundation we need to be equipped with the right tools. Now most may say, well you have been with Brandon six years now; you have been through hell and high water. What else is needed to determine your readiness for marriage? I believe that being with someone for any length of time is not a prerequisite for being ready to enter into a lifetime commitment. To enter into a lifetime commitment takes not only time, but thought, willingness from both parties, and communication.

Looking at the word of marriage it seems everyone has the answers for how to break up a marriage; it seems you have to go searching high a low to find out how to keep and maintain a successful marriage. Personally, I think it such a disservice to keep those answers and tools locked away. So in a couple of weeks, Brandon and I will begin our first session of premarital counseling. I am actually excited and interested in seeing what new things we will learn about each other. As well as new tools we will gain to help with conflict we may encounter and the overall building of our marriage.

Do you view premarital counseling as a positive part of wedding / marriage planning? Or is it truly based upon the individual couple whether or not they go forward with it?

Happy Planning

Elizabeth

Eight Months until our Forever…… By: Blogger Elizabeth

2011-03-23T21:36:00.000-04:00

I just got a reminder email from a wedding timeline that announced to me Elizabeth; you have eight months to go until your wedding day of November 19, 2011. Eight months to go! It seems like yesterday that I was staring at my third finger, left hand in disbelief. Now I am up to my head in contracts and checklist! Times like these make me travel back in time to the day that my fiancé Brandon proposed. It was December 27, 2010 a couple of days before our official "dating” anniversary of December 31. Brandon and I met at our Alma Mater (North Carolina A&T State University) and after 5 years of long distance dating him in Virginia and me in North Carolina, we were at this point. Brandon had planned a family dinner for both sides of our family.

It was a nice French American restaurant in his hometown of Charlotte NC. I thought it was so sweet that Brandon wanted to bring our two families together. As we continued to fellowship a friend of Brandon's father came to the table, he mentioned how he met Brandon's father at a restaurant and sang to him and Brandon's stepmother Denise. He asked if we wanted a song, we all said yes, and he began to sing to the table. After the song was over, I mentioned to Brandon "Who is this guy, and why isn't he singing to us?" Brandon's dad heard this and mentioned that he could arrange for the guy to come back and sing to me! As dinner continued the gentleman came back and asked me to come up front for the song. As I sat upfront, the gentleman asked how long Brandon and I had been together, and what I liked about him. I still had no clue what was in store! The gentleman told me he was going to do a song for us, before I knew it the gentleman begins to sing the Larry Graham Song "When We Get Married". A cake with sparklers comes out with the words "Will you marry me?" written on it, the waitress brings me a bouquet of flowers. The best part of all, my handsome "husband to be" is down on one knee, with the ring asking for my hand in marriage! Of course I was in tears, and I said yes!! A million times. It has and will forever be (next to my wedding day) the greatest day of my life.

As I continue on this journey, and find myself back to the piles of contracts, timelines, decisions and all the things wedding plans bring I remind myself to take a moment and remember what brought us here. The wedding is ONE day, the marriage is a lifetime! Brandon and I are so excited about our wedding that we are planning, one that will be romantic, simply elegant and full of love!

What is that special moment that you go back to, to remind yourself on why you and your other half fell in love and began the journey of becoming husband and wife?

Until next time, happy planning!

Elizabeth

We are looking for new bloggers

2011-02-26T12:54:00.002-05:00

ForBlackWeddings.com is looking for new brides & grooms to blog about their wedding planning stages.

If you are getting married and would love to blog about your wedding planning experiences, please send us an email to info@forblackweddings.com.

The couples picked will need to blog at least once a month.

Check out the posts below from our past bloggers to get an idea of what we are looking for.

We look forward to following your wedding!

Please note: This is not a paid position however those chosen will receive huge discounts toward wedding invitations and favors if purchased at our wedding store.

Gurl, Get Your Money’s Worth - By Bride Namibia

2010-06-29T23:03:00.001-04:00

You should not play full price for anything these days. Have you seen the signs, 20 percent off, 50 percent off, everything must go. And though the wedding industry has a reputation of gouging wide-eyed brides and grooms, it does not have to be like that.

I am honoring my budget-consciousness and my wedding will be fabulous.

In fact, this depression is forcing everyone to re-evaluate and re-price goods and services, and that includes the wedding industry.

Two months ago I had a photographer quote me $2,000.00 to take photos at my wedding. I was floored! And I told him I would like to negotiate that price, but he said that he didn't negotiate, at all—then proceeded to tell me that if a potential client did not like his prices, he always had someone else in the wings.

Of course my black woman neck started circling and I said in my head, "Oh hell no, you will not have my business." I went about my way and found other options that were better priced, and the other photographers were extremely accommodating.

I don't care what type of business patronage the first photographer claimed he had, everyone has been affected by the financial climate. EVERYBODY!

Negotiating is everything with this wedding. I am learning fast, and in some cases, in uncomfortable ways. Though I must admit, I have been getting blessed with great deals.

So let me give you some of the huge finds:
My wedding planner (who has bent over backwards) was a steal and has become a dear friend. Plus she finagled hotel rooms @ the JW Marriot Staple Center for the lowest group price rate that the hotel offers.

The wedding venue is a top-notch place that has been featured on Wedding Central. I got a 50% discount.

My future mother-in-spirit found a soap mold of the Adinkra symbol and is making chocolates as souvenirs.

I just saw some Old Navy fuchsia flip-flops I want to purchase for my circle of sisters who will be walking with me through this. The shoes are $1.49 with a 30% discount on top of that.

The flowers and decor will be purchased in the flower district in downtown LA @ bulk prices that are a fraction of flower shops.

These are just some of the savings I am using to make sure I get good quality at budget-conscious prices.

But I must stress, you must be damn near vigilante, even when you don't want to, and even when you are not doing wedding things. It is something that must become habit.

For instance, I purchased some spices at some frou-frou place in an upper-class side of town this weekend. The woman shorted me 8 cents change from the 88 cents I was supposed to get. I slowly counted my money and didn't move. She smiled, and I smiled right back and told her I was waiting for my change. She admitted that she did not have the rest and just had dollars. So I asked for a full dollar and gave her the 80 cents. When she said she couldn't do it, I told her to give me my refund.

My money is precious and I work hard. The last think you will do is short me and I accept it. I have to admit, I am still learning, but an old Jewish told me one day, "Count your pennies and you don't have to worry about your dollars."

Have you saved money while planning your wedding?

Namibia

Pam's Baby Shower

2010-06-06T18:34:00.001-04:00

Our first "Follow the Bride" blogger Pam will be celebrating her one year wedding anniversary this week and also expecting her first child in July. We attended the baby shower over the weekend. Congratulations Pam & Bobby from The ForBlackWeddings.com Family!

Rituals - By: Bride Namibia

2010-05-03T08:32:00.003-04:00

Sun-Ra's family jokes about our ethnic flair by nicknaming me Afrika Bambata and him, Shaka Zulu. I smile at the compliment. In return, I am thinking about giving them something straight from the Motherland.

On a serious note, Sun-Ra and I are getting a lot of helpful advice about the direction to go for the wedding. Many people are telling us to have a low budget wedding and a fabulous honeymoon. We are trying to balance both and are lucky that we are globetrotters and unpampered backpackers who can go a lot of places on the cheap and still enjoy it immensely.

But we gotta have a ceremony that solidifies our union to the community whether we want it or not. Rituals are important. I argue that black folk don't have enough rituals and the ones we do have we've forgotten much of the meaning.

As I was ho-humming about wedding stress, a friend of mine confirmed my inner thoughts around ceremonies and gatherings. Her story, she went to the courthouse and called it a day. Now she regrets it.

Though I would love to take the day easy, I have a 92-year-old grandmother that I will honor. That is the tradition in me that I recognize. To jump the broom in front of my matriarch is important and is just one of my blessings. But as I put together this afro-boho-cosmo-chic affair, I ran across this lovely video of a Zulu Wedding Dance.

I think I might give them exactly what they tease me about, Zulu.

Namibia

Beauty Ain’t This Painful: Waxing By: Bride Namibia

2010-04-12T08:02:00.001-04:00

I first shaved my legs when I was 25, and got my first wax at 31. There are many reasons why I didn't shave, but one of them was not because I was not hairy. Honey child, my legs are like comedienne/actress, Mo'Nique, beyond fuzzy to down right bush baby. You see my mom frowned on shaving, so I had to do what the old schoolers did, slather the follicles down with lotion. Then when I got older, I was au naturel for a minute, and bucked the man for an unshaven calf, but silently craved to tame the beast on my legs. However, I have some serious horror stories with shaving my pits and bikini line from razors, to depilatories, to an outrageously painful waxing that occurred back-in-the-day. Unfortunately, I have an ugly scar on my calf from a shaving experience with a straight-edge eyebrow razor. Long story, but I strongly recommend to never shave when you are pissed off at a boyfriend.

Later on I gave waxing another try when I moved to Atlanta some years ago. Shayna of "Spa on the Go" gave me a pretty low-pain experience. Actually, there was very little pain at all. My legs were fairly painless, my thighs were more sensitive, but it was a cool experience as we talked and laughed for about an hour. I was so relieved I thought my previous waxing experience when I was a high-schooler was fantasized---until I tried it on my own again. Yup, I was wrong. That shit hurt like ouch. But since waxing was out of my grad school budget at the time, I go through torture. About twice a year, I do the rip-and-yelp dance for about 3 hours and end up with smooth spots, sticky skin and small patches of blood with some fuzz. I so admire Mo'Nique, honestly I do. However, I too look at her legs and am not feeling it. Such a contradiction for my hairy self; and a person who realizes that European art emphasizes hairless women to disempower their presence, I know that much of social chagrin is rooted in Western culture.

Nevertheless I want smooth and shiny gams for my wedding and I know I gotta start now. The last thing I will do on my wedding day is walk like a bowlegged cowboy because my runway got ripped the day before.
To get my body on a consistent hairless regimen, I gave myself a full leg and bikini wax last week. Shit, it was painful. But I was adhering to the advice of my girlfriend who told me she gets it all taken off regularly. According to her, it really stops hurting. I dropped my mouth in amazement. I mean a sister of color getting a wax is more of a challenge due to our coarse hair. Blood in the pubic area is standard, but my friend swears that experience childbirth pains three times immunized her from a lot of things she thought were unbearable before.

Nonetheless, I am still asking, "Why is beauty so painful?"

love and balance http://oldnewdarkerthanblue.blogspot.com/

darker than blue

Un-blinging the Engagement Ring - Bride: Namibia

2010-03-21T22:41:00.002-04:00

I could not sleep if I wore the annual income of an African village on my hand. So when Sun-Rah and I were talking about engagement rings (yes he wears one too) we both agreed to be simple, budget conscious, and stick to our afro-boho-chic selves. I had been searching sites for black jewelers who make African-inspired jewelry and discovered three.

After combing through all of the hideous costume jewelry sites, lackluster bands on Etsy.com, I found Glenn Lewis, a highly regarded jewelry who is from the US, but according to the site, he lives in Ghana. His jewelry uses Egyptian and Ghanaian or Adinkra symbols for rings, pendants for necklaces, intricate jewelry boxes. Oh my and his work, incredible.

Lewis was very attractive for several reasons. For one, he participated in fair trade on several levels. According to his site and some articles I dug up, he partners with local jewelers and metal companies to ensure its employees were duly compensated. Also, he has taught classes at several institutes in Ghana on metallurgy and jewelry making. I immediately squealed and yanked Sun-Rah over to the computer screen so he could see what I've found. I emailed Lewis and waited. One week went by, I emailed him again, then about four more times and did not get a reply.

I revisited Lewis' site and saw that his last speaking engagement was in 2007. I was so desperate to get in contact with him I scoured the Internet, but came up cold, even in the obituary section. Sadly, I had to search some more and found another deliciously beautiful jeweler.
The next company I found was the Jendayi Collection, located in my hometown of Los Angeles. Sun-Rah saw several pieces he loved, and so I decided to visit the place when I visited my family. The store was in the Baldwin Hills Crensaw Plaza, a mall located in a very popular African-American pocket of the city.

The saleswoman was okay, not anything to brag about or throw away. She seemed like a family friend who needed a job, but wasn't really all into selling her cousin's jewelry. Nonetheless, the love from the husband of the owner/jewelry designing team was there and he was so sweet and cool, he became the selling point. The couple/owners make a lot of pieces for black Hollywood and I have seen him throughout the cultural circuit of Los Angeles, and he has always been a good brother. I definitely would love to support that. While there, I spotted the ring I wanted and asked about the price. It was very reasonable, about $1000, but as a grad student that was a little steep, so I kept my options open.

Then, I remembered bumping into an NYC jeweler on Myspace who makes Erykah Badu's big Ankh rings and bracelets. A master craftsman, S.o. Patah creates whatever your heart desires. I liked Patah's work, but it was too expensive and a little too gaudy for me. I wanted something that made a statement, something that was more than simple, but not ostentatious. Then I re-thought this whole recession thing and asked myself if I really wanted to spend a thousand or more on a ring at this time. And the answer was no. Sun-Rah and I decided that if and when we could, or even cared to, we would upgrade in the future. So I began to peruse discount sites and came across the perfect ring. A black onyx ring with a heart on the top. What better to say "black love" than this. Also, I read up on black onyx and found it as a stone for people to center oneself, and in the craziness of preparing for a unification ritual, the onyx was what I needed.

And you would never believe the price, $13.99! Ahhh, I love black love.

love and balance

darker than blue

http://oldnewdarkerthanblue.blogspot.com/
Glenn Lewis - http://www.glennlewis.com/
Jendayi Collection - http://www.jendayicollection.com/
S.o. Patah - http://www.myspace.com/elaton

I Am Not a Superwoman, So I Hired a Wedding Planner by Blogger: Namibia

2010-02-28T19:42:00.000-05:00

My Wedding Planner

Eulina mentioned something that sealed the deal. She said, "Women, especially black women think that they can do it all, and when they try to do everything they end up not enjoying anything about their event."

It was at that point I hired Eulina Morris of Creating Remarkable Events. She understood me. I realized a long time ago that I am not a superwoman and have no desire to be every and anything all the time.

I am a doctoral student who holds a part time job and teaches anywhere for three to five classes. I am beyond busy already, plus I have no clue about a wedding since I wasn't the type who dreamed of how it will look or what I would wear. With my lack of knowledge of weddings, I knew I was entering into an area I was totally unfamiliar.

But I was sure of one thing. I did not want to be the burned out superwoman on my wedding day. And I want my family members to show up beautiful, relaxed and ready to celebrate. Nonetheless, the decision of hiring a wedding planner was not without a fight. I looked at some planners a couple of months ago and thought, "My sister can do that."

My sister, who we call "Pookie Bird" got married three years ago. Everything that you didn't want to happen happened. I figured that anyone who went through the hells she did, could put together a good damn wedding. She had so many opportunities to learn an abundance of lessons I guessed she was a pro after she pulled that one off.
I called Pookie and she was excited and supportive. I gave her the proposal along with a payment of services. Immediately, she was on it---asking me about colors, venues, bridesmaids, and all the particulars that I did not have an answer.

The next week she was combing Los Angeles looking for a venue that was reasonable. But life happened. Her husband was laid off just like she was right after she had their infant daughter. Both of them were casualties of a crumbling Cali economy. Now, she had to really look for a job in between being an active mommy of three, a wife, and a conscious community member. The next items were finding a caterer and securing a hotel, but Pookie's youngest got sick, then she caught a cold, and her car broke down again. Who had time plan a wedding?

I was getting impatient, but I had to understand my sister's situation. Nonetheless, I couldn't neglect mine. So, I started looking for a wedding planner. I had been visiting www.forblackweddings.com and other sites to get an understanding of what I should be looking for. For Black Weddings, gives excellent tips on what to expect in wedding planning from the beginning to the end---from wedding songs to a bridal emergency kit.

I read and read, and honestly, I still didn't know what I wanted or where I was going. I was getting so frustrated I just wanted to call it off and I was just starting. Instead of quitting, I went to research wedding planners. Since Los Angeles has a small black population, we only make up about 4 percent, I wanted to recycle my black dollars so I went to www.blacknla.com and looked at caterers. I emailed and phoned them all.

Eulina was the first one to call. I listened to what she said and wrote notes based on her tips and advice. I spoke to others, but it came down to two potentials, and Eulina's simple statement sealed the deal. Other things that were important was she was budget-friendly, flexible, full of energy, very responsive, and listened to my concerns before I even signed a contract. I feel totally comfortable with my choice and I can't wait to jump into the process again.

love and balance

darker than blue

We Did It!!! September 12, 2009

2009-09-26T20:00:00.003-04:00

Mr. & Mrs. Demond Marshall - September 12, 2009

Well our day has come and gone but the memories will last for a lifetime. We had a wonderful time and it went so well. It rained like crazy all day long. However, it stopped raining just about 1-2 hours before we left to go to the church. Due to the rain, we didn't get to take the photos we wanted at the park. I’m not mad because my photographer more than made up for that. Some things didn’t go as plan, but I didn't even care because it was a great day. I had all my family and friends buzzing around. I got to see my sister, whom I hadn't seen in about four years so that was a great moment for me.

It can be a stressful time planning a wedding but in the end the small things didn't matter, nor did the worry. The wedding was beautiful!! Our photographer was one the greatest things that happened to the entire event. She is brand new to the area however she didn't falter the least bit. She has already sent us a few proofs to review and I have fallen in love with each one of them.

We spent our honeymoon at the Imperial Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. I needed the rest but the fun and food was welcomed as well.

I'm Mrs. Marshall now and I'm happy as ever.

Scroll down to view all the pictures!!!

Tanya & Demond Wedding Photos - Sept. 12, 2009 #6

2009-09-26T19:55:00.003-04:00

Getting Ready!!!

Tanya & Demond Wedding Photos - Sept. 12, 2009 - #5

2009-09-26T19:41:00.003-04:00

Derrick and Rowe

Niya and Me

Kisha

A Song Just For You

Tanya & Demond Wedding Photos - Sept. 12, 2009 - #4

2009-09-26T19:37:00.002-04:00

Singing At Last

Tanya & Demond Wedding Photos - Sept. 12, 2009 - #3

2009-09-26T19:28:00.003-04:00

Married Now!!!

First Dance

First Dance

Bridal Party Place Setting

Menu Card

Tanya & Demond Wedding Photos - Sept. 12, 2009 - #2

2009-09-26T19:10:00.012-04:00

Our Toast

Centerpiece

Grooms Cake

Reception Table

Peacock on Table Centerpiece

Bridemaid Flowers

Tanya & Demond Wedding Photos - Sept. 12, 2009

2009-09-26T18:52:00.004-04:00

Fruit Table Display

Table Centerpiece

Tanya & Demond At Reception

Wedding Cake

3 Days To Go!!!!

2009-09-09T18:38:00.005-04:00

Well, I have 3 days left and I have been busy getting those last minute details in order. I'm burning CDs as we speak to be packaged later this evening. I'll be finishing my programs up tonight. I'm excited but anxious for all the hustle to come to an end. I can't wait to see the pictures. We have a great photographer who happens to be a girlfriend of mine. She will be taking pics of both of us so we get two for the price of one!!! I'll talk with you soon gotta run.

Wish us luck!!!

Ms. Tanya T. Turner (for less than 3 days)

15 days to go!!!!

2009-08-30T16:36:00.002-04:00

Well as of today I have 15 days left until touchdown and I'm on a whirlwind of total excitement right now. My bridal shower is this Sunday. My bridesmaids couldn't make it a surprise because I am the one that usually plans everything for everybody else and as they say, no one does it quite like me!! So I'm looking forward to it. The colors for the shower are Black, Silver & Pink. A far cry from the wedding colors but I thought it would be nice to change it up and make it unique to the wedding. I'll make sure to send pics.

Chic & Romantic

2009-08-30T16:17:00.004-04:00

I've seen this style all over WBC and I'm sold. I'm going for my hair trial this weekend and I'm excited to see how it comes out. I like the fact the hair isn't all the way back. There is a slight bang. I hope I don't sweat it out before all the festivities are over. I should be safe because my hairdresser is also one of my bridesmaids.

Well ladies here is a pic of the world’s longest veil!!! OMG, I asked for it and I got it. It's an extended cathedral length veil and it's perfect.

I'm having crystal embellishments put on it right now and I can't wait to see the finished product. I'm so excited.

Wedding Colors

2009-08-30T14:14:00.011-04:00

A friend of my mothers stopped by yesterday to see how everything was coming along with the wedding details. I showed her the fabrics and my flowers. She was thrilled. I was surprise when she said that I chosen the colors of Earth, Fire and Water. These colors represent complete harmony.

Red ~ Excites the senses and sets the mood on FIRE

Turquoise ~ Calms the senses and sooths the soul like WATER

Brown ~ Rustic and bold grounded and balanced like the EARTH

If I didn't have so much to do, I would incorporate these meaning somewhere. I still might have to time to include them on the menu cards.

Our Wedding Cake - Tanya & Demond

2009-08-30T14:05:00.004-04:00

I saw this cake online and went crazy. So, here I am just shy of 2 weeks of the wedding and I went to the bakery and changed my cake!!! I couldn't resist it. The folds of the cake are just like the top of my dress. I'm not a last minute person but I had to be on this one. My baker was not fazed. He didn't have a problem because it's wasn't like the cake was made already. He said, "No problem, breathe child!"

Yippie, I love this cake! It is so pretty.

The best part of all the baker didn't go up on the price at all.

My Engagement Photos

2009-08-30T14:00:00.006-04:00

I am so excited about the engagement shot. We had so much fun and the pics came out nice. I love black and white and it made a difference. I hope you enjoy. We took the pics in his home town of Mandeville, LA at a spot called Sunset Point. It's on Lake Ponchatrain, just across from New Orleans.

Tanya Turner and Demond Marshall will wed September 12, 2009

2009-07-29T18:17:00.013-04:00

My name is Tanya T. Turner and I reside in Hammond, Louisiana. My fiancé is Demond Marshall of Mandeville, Louisiana. We meet over 16 years ago at Southeastern Louisiana University; I was a freshman running track and he was being recruited for the football team. We dated for awhile, but then went our separate ways. Surprisingly, 15 years later, he found me on MySpace.com.

Our wedding date is September 12, 2009. The wedding will be held in Hammond, which is about 45 minutes away from New Orleans, Louisiana. We're getting married on his birthday so this event is more than just a wedding; it’s a celebration. Our colors are chocolate brown, red and turquoise with a touch of gold and champagne. My wedding dress is a Sottero & Midgley couture gown. It’s a beautiful ivory blush with a champagne overlay. I have an extended cathedral length, single layer, veil adorned with hand-sewn crystals on the bottom hem. My shoes are simply gorgeous are definitely something I'm going to wear again. My fiancé’s tuxedo is a khaki colored tux with a diamond white vest and ascot tie.

The bridesmaids were allowed to choose their own dresses in different styles. The matron and maid of honor will match in style but not shades. The bridesmaids and groomsmen will both be in chocolate brown, the matrons will be in gold and the maid of honor will wear champagne. Our floral design includes red orchids and roses as well as white orchids for my fiancé and me. We opted not to have flower girls or a ring bearer because we have too many nieces and nephews to chose from. My daughters, who are 17 and 12, will carry our rings in Faberge style ring holders and will also be maids of honor. In total, there are 20 people in our wedding party. Considering we started with 30, that’s great! I'm also a wedding and event coordinator so I’m involved in every aspect of the wedding. I have a partner who will be responsible for the day of coordination, but everything else is based on my vision and my fiancé’s dream.

Simplicity with flare is our theme. We plan to incorporate a multitude of crystals, crystal trees and hanging pomanders (kissing balls) made of roses throughout the wedding venue. In addition, we plan to incorporate a candy buffet, a chocolate fountain along with a fruit tree and a coffee station. The favors will be homemade sugar cookies with the initial M, bookmarks, and miniature bottles of Verdi Champagne. We will also have personalized bottled water at the candy buffet. I made the invitations, programs, labels, monograms, bookmarks, and memorial candles, so there is a real personal touch to everything. I saved a ton of money doing them myself.

Our wedding will mostly be about having fun and sharing with our family and friends. We are expecting to have about 400 people attending this family affair. From what I can envision, our wedding will be a classic event that we'll cherish for years to come.

Talk to you soon!

Tanya

More Pictures from Tanya's Wedding Plans

2009-07-29T18:09:00.008-04:00

We Did it….I’s Married Now!

2009-06-28T19:27:00.002-04:00

After all the planning and stress of trying to have everything as close to perfect as possible, our wedding day went by in a flash. But in spite of the little setbacks it all came together nicely. Due to the rain during the week and that day, the ceremony was held indoors opposed to on the beautiful garden at the venue (Mayfair Farms). The room was one of my favorites and from what little I saw, looked nice w/the hydrangeas decorated arch and tool and bows draped the chairs of each side of the aisle.

Though my nerves and stomach were a total mess, I made it down the aisle without losing it after taking a deep breath. We did personal vows and I surprisingly got through them without crying but almost lost it when Bobby’s eyes teared as I spoke. I then had to hold back my tears when he spoke his vows. It was a beautiful and heartfelt moment. We also performed the broom-jumping ritual, which added a nice touch in sealing our union.

The cocktail hour was held outdoors on the patio as well as indoors. We were also able to take pictures outdoors on the outskirts of the lawn as we were told it was still too wet to go any further. We entered the reception after a video, which consisted of photos of each of us from childhood till now as well as interviews of us telling how we met, got engaged and our future plans. The rest of the evening went so fast it’s mostly a blur but I remember being pulled in every direction for everything from photos to traditional cake cutting and throwing the bouquet. I didn’t get to dance to any of my favorites I’d requested but did get one quick dance in before the night ended.

When the night was over we were both totally wiped out and crashed after having a quick drink with friends at the bar of the hotel (The Wilshire Grand).

The next morning we were off to Hawaii for our honeymoon. The long flight was welcomed as it gave us time to catch up on much needed sleep. Kauai and the resort (Grand Hyatt Kauai) were beautiful. We attended a luau and did helicopter and ATV (mud buggy) tours which were all great experiences. On our last full day we did the spa, which consisted of a couple’s massage, Jacuzzi, sauna and steam room.

We had a 7 hour layover in Honolulu on our flight back so visited Pearl Harbor. It was sad seeing where so many dedicated Americans lost their lives. We slept the entire flight home. It was good to come back to pictures from family and friends as well as comments/compliments on the wedding and everyone expressing how much they enjoyed themselves. Our main goal was met. Now we start our lives together as husband and wife.

I want to thank ForBlackWeddings.com for the opportunity to share my wedding planning experience and all the dedicated followers of the blog.

“The Mrs.”

Wedding & Honeymoon Photos

2009-06-28T19:19:00.010-04:00

The Home Stretch

2009-06-08T21:10:00.001-04:00

The wedding is only 3 days away and I’m trying to keep my nerves under control. I keep worrying about having all the small things done in time and not forgetting anything. To help ensure I don’t leave anything out I’ve been keeping a note pad by my bed and jotting things down as they come to mind, even in the middle of the night. So, needless to say I’m not getting as much sleep as I should. Thank God I’m only working 2 days this week.

I’ve completed my part of the seating and have Bobby working on his so keeps me from pondering over placing people I don’t know. A friend of mine who’s also an event planner offered to help out with some of the remaining task. I’m a hands on person and will still have to touch things to put my mind at ease but having her help does help me relax a little.

My goal is to have my bags packed for the honeymoon by Wednesday so I can have a little down time Thursday before rehearsal. I’m also planning a massage for Thursday afternoon to help me unwind and prepare for the big day. Overall, I’m trying to remain calm, believing that everything will fall into place and we will have a beautiful day.

Counting Down

2009-05-31T16:15:00.000-04:00

Only 2 weeks till the big day. It’s coming fast but I’m ready to get it done. All the planning and drama has taken a toll on Bobby and I. No matter how many weddings you’ve attended or participated in, (I’ve had more than my share), you don’t truly understand the work and stress behind it until you’re planning your own. I’m sure compared to others, our experience might be minor but nonetheless one we’d like to put behind and enjoy our wedding day.

I went for my final fitting last night. It was exciting. Trying on my dress made it even more real knowing that next time I put it on it will be our wedding day. The adjustments were perfect so I just pray; I don’t lose any weight in the next couple weeks.

Though, I only have small things to complete I keep feeling like there’s so much to do in so little time. From programs to music and decoration details, it all adds up especially when juggling work and normal daily tasks. All I can do is just breathe and keep going.

Pam

Pam's Shower Pictures

2009-05-05T16:05:00.006-04:00

My Bridal Shower

2009-05-05T09:18:00.007-04:00

I had my bridal shower last weekend and what a beautiful day it was. I was lured to the location by one of my friends telling me, a couple months before, about a bridal expo she’d received an invite for. She added that they would have WE TV there for a bridezilla shoot and even put together a disclaimer form. A few other brides-to-be from work were also in on it by agreeing to respond to the email that went out as to whether or not they’d attend. I admit it was a good idea but, with my busy calendar, I’m booked every weekend except two so I knew the shower would have to be one of those days.

Though I wasn’t totally surprised it was exciting and great to see my family and friends that attended to show their love and support. The shower location was nice with a great view of the lake it’s set off from. The food was good and I received many of beautiful gifts. Also can’t forget the toilet paper gown game. We got to see everyone’s creative side and a few laughs at the same time. It was a small dose of what to expect on the wedding day – can’t wait.

Talk to you soon.

Pam

71 Days To Go!

2009-04-05T22:15:00.003-04:00

Last night, I went for my first fitting and it was both exciting and scary realizing how close the big day is. But it’s also nice to know I’ll finally be “the bride” and not another bridesmaid which is nice but can be depressing when you’ve had more than your share. My sister and niece went along to see me in my dress. They had their fittings too. They loved their dresses and the shoes added a nice touch.

After contemplating which favors I liked best, I finally ordered my original choice tonight. Glad to have that checked off my list. Now if I can just get the invitations wrapped up. My goal is to start sending them out next week providing the printer can have them ready in time. That would also allow time to send to the “b list” guests without being too close to the RSVP date. Though I read that it’s ok to invite guests a week before or even the week of the wedding, I personally don’t agree with it and want to avoid it. There was also an article on how to let people know they’re not invited which I’ve had to do in the past few weeks, even a couple days ago. I try to smooth it over by reminding them of my large family and that costs add up quickly. I’ve also mentioned sharing the video and pictures. No matter what you say it’s not easy and not everyone seems to understand. But I hope no one takes it personal.

Talk to you soon.

Pam

Honeymoon and Completing To-Do List

2009-03-15T18:23:00.002-04:00

I mentioned planning/booking our honeymoon in one of my previous entries. It’s now booked and paid for. We started out with me wanting to go to Hawaii and Bobby Barbados. After some discussion Barbados was left as a last resort. So we’re going to Hawaii!! It will be the first visit for both of us and we’re so excited. Right now we could both use the rest and relaxation.

Though we’ve completed a few more items on our to-do list there are still over 100 items left to be done. I’d been feeling ok and on schedule until the last couple weeks. Now with less than 100 days till the wedding I’m starting to feel pressured to get all the final items done.
Though some men may try to be involved in the planning process 90% of the tasks fall on the bride and can take a toll at times. In most case if it were left up to the groom they’d simplify things by just going to the justice of the peace. Of course that’s fine if both parties agree on it but if not, women prepare yourselves for the tasks ahead. It’s exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time.

Till next time….

Our Registry and Guest Lists

2009-03-05T19:46:00.004-05:00

Bobby and I went to Macy’s and started our wedding registry. I felt like he was rushing me but the woman who assisted us was very helpful and gave Bobby the scanner. This made him feel as though he was in control. To my surprise, he didn’t complain too much but when it was time to go he was clearly ready.

We covered most of what I had in mind along with a couple items he suggested. I knew I could go online at another time and update where needed, which I did later. I also registered for a few items at Bed Bath and Beyond. There’s also a great alternative to the traditional registries with honeymoon wishes. It’s a great way to give guests options and the opportunity to help make your honeymoon experience more enjoyable.

My sister/matron of honor has been harassing me for my bridal shower guest list. I know she just wants it now so I’m not trying to figure out when the shower will be but right now I’m finalizing the wedding list. I’ve had to put more names on the “b” list to try and get down to a more reasonable number but will still be over the limit we’d agreed even with responses of those unable to attend. The more I go over the lists the more appealing eloping or a destination wedding becomes. But I’m forced to do what I have to and hope people understand. My advice to future brides, start out with only immediate family and gradually add extended family and friends from there. I read an article that pretty much advised the same things I’ve been doing but just doesn’t make it any easier. I plan to send the invitations out in batches, pulling from the “b” list after I’ve received enough “no” responses that allow room for additional guests. Again, hoping those we can’t invite will understand and plan to share memorable moments and pictures at http://www.forblackweddings.com.

Till next time….

Staying On Schedule and Organized

2009-02-03T16:07:00.003-05:00

I attended a bridal show with my sister over the weekend. Since, I already have the larger items needed for the wedding there wasn’t much I was interested in at the show but it was entertaining. There was a pretty good DJ and band vendor that performed with male models which added extra flair to the fashion show. They positioned each other as mannequins in amusing poses. I really just wanted to attend for the bridal experience and I think all brides should attend at least one. As someone mentioned to me, “most of us only get one wedding, so do everything you can for the full experience.”

It seems like we just ring in the New Year and now February is here. With less than 5 months to go I’m really pushing to complete items on my to-do list. To help keep myself organized, I created folders that hold all my wedding related information.

In addition to the folders, I use the great planning tools provided by The Knot. They have a to-do list that helps keep me in line with what items I should be focused on, if not already covered, as well as things that are overdue. There’s also a budgeter, personal webpage and, my favorite of all, the guest list manager. With the guest list manager you can do everything from importing and exporting excel files to guest responses and table seating. What’s also great is that you can access it from anywhere unlike spreadsheets on your personal computer. I also found great planning tools on ForBlackWeddings.com, http://www.forblackweddings.com/

We have selected the tuxedo and accessory colors for the guys that will blend nicely with the bridesmaids’ dresses - another thing to check off my list. Though I’ve completed the major items I still feel pressured to get the little things done. But most importantly, I’m anxious to have our honeymoon booked and confirmed. I am in the process of doing that now. I’ve heard others say the honeymoon will be the best part and now I can understand why. With all the planning, spending, and the nightmare guest list it can’t come soon enough.

Talk with you soon.

Pam

The Countdown…Planning in Gear

2008-12-16T09:20:00.001-05:00

The big day is exactly six months away, and I’m starting to feel anxiety and butterflies. Thoughts of what I need to get done go through my head before I go to bed and when I wake up. I’m trying to avoid stress by getting as much done as possible. My mom and sister joked that I’ll be done with everything by the end of the year. I really doubt that but I have a good start. So far, I’ve covered the venue, photographer, videographer, DJ, florist, bridesmaids’ dresses, mothers’ dresses, my wedding gown and I am working on invitations.

In my last entry, I mentioned revisiting the venue with Bobby and our mothers. We went for a tasting which started off with a tour of the grounds. They all loved it! After the tour, we were seated in one of the banquet rooms where our orders for a four-course meal were taken. We made sure to order different meals to cover the meat options. The food was great! The cakes were exceptional; however, one stood out from the rest and we chose it for our wedding cake. Before leaving, we confirmed our reservation with the manager; he thanked us and notified us that our contract would be sent via mail.

Once the venue was booked and confirmed, I was on a hunt for dresses. The search wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be, since I had in mind what I wanted. When I first saw the gown I chose for myself, I knew it was the one I envisioned wearing. Though I searched for and tried on a couple others, I kept going back to the same dress. The reaction, from both my mom and sister, was a confirmation that this was the dress for me. On top of that, a total stranger walked by and commented on how great it looked on me. Of course, it was a done deal! My dress is strapless, so I wanted the bridesmaids’ dresses to be strapless, also. I took my sister, who’s also my matron of honor, and my niece, who I’ve asked to be a bridesmaid, to help select and try on dresses. We narrowed our selection to two dresses and had each of them try on one. The vote for the dress my niece tried on was unanimous. I loved the way it fit in all the right places, yet gathered in the middle to camouflage any vices. I picked a color and shared a picture with the other bridesmaids.

Selecting a photographer was easy, since I loved the person my sister used for her wedding. I booked with him and his associate videographer. As for the DJ, the moment I started planning, I knew I wanted to use a guy who I’ve known since elementary school. I’ve heard him at a couple of functions and I like the way he works. He also knows Bobby from high school, which will make his presence at our wedding even more significant.

Until I post again…Happy Holidays!

The Guest List & Location Planning

2008-11-18T11:22:00.002-05:00

Thank you for your comments and well wishes; some brought tears to my eyes. One comment mentioned how blessed I was to have found a good man and how a good man is hard to find. We’ve all felt that way at some point in our lives; but, please remember that you deserve the best and never settle for anything less. Though it may seem hopeless at times, there are still good men out there. Speaking of which, I can’t go on without saying something about President-Elect Barack Obama. We’ll soon have an African American serving as the President of the United States! This is yet another confirmation that anything is possible with faith and perseverance.

I’m still absorbing the fact that I’m getting married. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. However, my anxiety hasn’t stopped me from jumping into planning my special day. I started what I felt was my biggest task, the guest list, weeks ago. It’s still a nightmare! My goal is to have between 180 and 200 guests, but my list alone reaches close to that amount. Having a large family and friends, who have been there for me over the years, make it difficult to cut the list. I find myself adding more names after realizing I’d forgotten family members or after my mother reviewed the list. A “B” list seemed to be the way to go right now, though I feel most should remain on the “A” list. I was reminded that everyone invited might not be available to attend. This somewhat put my mind at ease because I could maintain my desired number of guests.

Finding a venue wasn’t too challenging; I’ve always wanted an outdoor ceremony. I made a list of places with outdoor facilities and called or emailed for prices and availability. After narrowing down the list, I scheduled an appointment with one of my top choices. My sister accompanied me to assist with my decision-making. The location was perfect for an outdoor ceremony. I loved that the banquet room split for the cocktail hour and opened to a patio leading out to a garden area. After discussing price and amenities, we booked the date and agreed to bring Bobby and our mothers back to seal the deal.

The Introduction & Engagement

2008-10-26T14:58:00.004-04:00

I want to start by thanking the ladies at ForBlackWeddings.com for the opportunity to share my wedding planning experience and my special day.

Finally, after many disappointments, failed relationships, always being the bridesmaid and never the bride, my time has come – I’m getting married!!!

The Engagement
After years of separation, Bobby and I were reunited at our class reunion. The reunion sparked my interest because it was the first anyone was able to pull off since graduation, and I was interested in catching up with old classmates. According to Bobby, he had a different agenda. He claims I was his incentive for attending. At the reunion, Bobby approached me inquiring about how I was doing and why I wasn’t married. Of course, me being me, I threw the marriage question back at him. We talked a couple times throughout the night and he asked for my number. I gave it to him not anticipating that he would call.

When Bobby called, I was hesitant to call him back; however, I gave in after he’d left a couple of messages. After an enjoyable phone conversation, he suggested that we get together. The following weekend, we went to dinner and a movie. We had a great time! He walked me to my car and said we needed to do it again. From that night, we talked at least two to three times a day. We had a lot in common, including the fact that he and my sister/best friend shared the same birthday. That commonality explained why we clicked. Although I knew something was there, I tried to hold back. I questioned my every move until I decided to let go and let God (lead me).

A few months into the relationship, we were already talking about “our future”. We even looked at rings on the cruise we took in July. Three weeks ago (13 months later), he proposed with a beautiful ring. It wasn’t romantic, but definitely unique and thoughtful. I’d been having “just one of those days, that a girl goes through” and he came over to take me to dinner. He noticed my bad mood and questioned if I still wanted to go out. I needed to get out the house and at that point; I just wanted a drink. So, I searched for my keys and finally found them in the bottom of my purse. As I walked toward the door, I looked down and saw something hanging from my key chain. Bobby was ahead of me so I called out to him asking what it was and if it was a toy. I later realized it was the bottom of my ring’s band. Of course, he played dumb but then I saw the “bling” from the diamond. Awestruck, I looked at him and told him to come to me. I stood frozen with my hands shaking. He walked over, asked if I wanted him to put it on, got on his knee, asked me to marry him, and then put the ring on my finger. Bobby said he considered proposing on Sunday; but, after seeing the bad mood I was in, he knew the time was NOW.

After I said that the ring looked like the one we saw on the cruise, he confessed that it was and he’d purchased it at the last island we visited. He’d secretly bought it, along with his and her watches, while I was off browsing in another section of the store. He wanted to make sure the ring would be one I’d like. That was another display of his thoughtfulness, always thinking of me. That’s the man I am in love with and am planning to marry. Talk with you soon, Pam.

2008-09-25T17:13:00.004-04:00

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