And The Two Shall Become One

Hello my lovely ForBlackWedding.com Family!

Have you ever sat down and thought about the fact that you and your FH are going to become one shortly. One means, while you have two brains and separate thoughts, you have to be on ONE accord. You have to come to conclusions together, even if it just means agreeing to disagree, you both must come to that conclusion. It’s a very delicate thing actually because I find that the majority of marriages that break up are because the two never were ONE or didn’t stay ONE. I think it’s so important for me, as a very self-sufficient woman to realize that I no longer will live alone in MY apartment and drive MY car on MY time and do what I what to do when I want to do it. But that this new stage in life is about the US factor and what WE have to do to make it work. I think it’s important to think about these things and get the kinks out before saying those vows because great success and great disaster truly do lie in the details.

I really want to be a good wife ya’ll, not just a pretty bride and these are some of the things I think are important to look at when you’re contemplating and pursuing a marriage. With that said, FH and I have been finding that we are most often than not on the same frequency. It takes time of course, to learn one another and I pray I never graduate from the school of learning FH. I want it to be a continual process that lasts us up until our old age, because when you stop learning, you stop living…GO LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FH and come share with us!


Until Next Time,
Cordelia

Just call us Mr. & Mrs. Obama—or not

My FH (Future Husband) and I had the opportunity to hang around in DC while visiting my family in MD for Thanksgiving. Being around the White House got me and FH to thinking about our future. In no way do we intend to run for office but there are some serious conversations that need to be had before marriage, including, where we will live, what our lives goals are and how we fit into each other’s. Is he an entrepreneur, if he is, does he expect me to work for his business. Do I want to be a stay at home mom, work full time, or work part time? Am I an entrepreneur? FH and I discussed many of these things and found that we are indeed a great match. Sometimes, we get so boggled down with Wedding Planning that we forget that the most important thing to plan is a marriage.

Interestingly enough, I’ve been feeling very much unmotivated the past week or so as far as wedding planning is concerned, I thought that meant something was wrong with me or that I was getting cold feet but I realized that sometimes, it’s important to step away from all the excitement and just simply enjoy the engagement. The time spent between the two of you before marriage, the time that is dedicated to getting to know each other on a deeper level. The time that is dedicated to getting all the weeds out and planting the flowers. I don’t know where you might be in your wedding planning experience, but while you’re doing all the fun stuff; don’t forget to plan your marriage. If you’re the type that talks about the wedding 24/7 like I do sometimes, take one day out of the week to just enjoy FH WITHOUT wedding talk. Maybe even watch a sports game with him (smile) and give him the opportunity to remember who he fell in love with, before diamond!

Till next time BTBs
Cord

Cordelia's Thanksgiving

Hey my fellow Brides-to-be:

It’s been about two weeks since I’ve written to you and it’s been a BUSY two weeks. I was going to try to get this to you sooner but I couldn’t find the cord to download the pictures that go along with my stories, I still can’t find it but don’t worry, I’ll share them next time.

So to get started, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! (Belated) How did you and FH (future husband) spend your thanksgiving? How are you going to do it when you get married? Me and Mine went to MD to spend time with my family, I also got to meet some of his family, who were amazing to say the least. FH got to meet my dad for the first time *GASP*…lol….

We toured around DC and got to see the White House Christmas tree being taken in on horse and carriage and took some nice pictures around the WWII Memorial, Capital, Lincoln Memorial and the Monument. It was really, really great times! Then the unforeseen occurred, our car broke down on the way back to NY…Talk about ANNOYING!!! Over 1,100 dollars later we made it back to New York with the car. If I learned anything this weekend, it’s that tough times will come and sometimes they may even follow really great times but you MUST stick in it together. FH and I almost lost it on one another a few times during the car breakdown situation, primarily because we were both frustrated and had no clue what are next move would be. But instead of being frustrated with one another, we learned that we actually needed to get closer because truly, two mellow heads are better than individual hot heads. Have you and your FH been at odds a lot during this wedding planning process or just in general? Well ladies, I learned this week that it’s okay to be on the same page *smile* in fact when one person decides to back down and build up, you both win. It won’t always be your FH to back down but a powerful woman knows when to enforce structure but she ALSO knows when to just let it go for peace sake!

HAPPY PLANNING BTBs!!!!!

Cordelia

Invitations.....Oh My!!

Hello my wonderful ForBlackWeddings.com family.

It’s been an interesting week for me. I’ve been working a lot on finalizing our guest list and our budget. It’s been torture to say the least. I have so many ideas and so many great things I want to do for this wedding. It’s the only one I’ll ever have but because FH (Future Husband) and I are paying for it ourselves, we are limited. I came to the conclusion that I’m going to have to do a lot of my stuff myself, which is not a bad thing because I’m somewhat creative. I can’t even begin to think about making 185 invites and program and etc. Good thing, we have some time.

Something that’s been irritating me a little bit this week is the guest list. There’s definitely some people on there that I just don’t understand why. These people are on the guest list only to avoid offending them. We have to put them on there…..arrrggghhh!!!! I guess all brides go through this. How do you ladies handle it? I just personally feel that on OUR special day we should have people that mean the most to us. Some people are acquaintances but I feel like they’re taking the seat of someone that I really want there, I know you’re thinking just take them off, but it’s really not that easy. Ugh, I’m frustrated just thinking about it.

On a brighter note, FH and I are going tomorrow morning to volunteer at a food bank together, I’ll be sure to take pictures to post and then after that we’re going to meet with our photographer!!!! I love this guy, he is so kind to work with and his work is phenomenal. We’re more than likely going to book him tomorrow!!! I’m so excited! In the spirit of working on stuff myself, I was playing around with trying to create a monogram this week, what do you think about these? I’m still working on getting them just right but let me know.

Also, I’m working on Save the Dates which we’re sending out in March…PROGRESS feels so good!!!

Where are you ladies at in your planning?

Cordelia

The Culture - Cordelia Abrokwah and Fred Banny

“She's your Queen-to-be. A Queen-to-be forever. A Queen who'll do whatever his highness desires…” (Coming to America)…don’t you just love that movie? **ooo, note to self, inquire about having African dancers at reception**. Hey, Forblackweddings.com family!!! So this week I wanted to share with you guys a little about me FH’s (Future Husband’s) culture. We’re both African, me from Ghana and him from Liberia. I was born here and he came as a tike. It’s amazing that we found each other because we both vowed to never marry Africans, go figure. I had the greatest weekend this weekend, my mom, who lives in MD, came up to NY to visit and I got to go over some great wedding ideas with her. In our culture we have what’s called a traditional engagement ceremony. Where the grooms family has to come “buy” the bride from her family. Back in the day, they bought us with goats and sheep (haha!) but now that the culture has evolved, they buy us with money, clothing, etc.

FH and I had decided that we were going to forgo our African ceremony and just incorporate some of the culture into our reception but mommy said N-O and you know what, I agree with her. I do want to experience that awesome ceremony where FH is under pressure to prove he can support me. At one ceremony I went to, the groom had to lay face down with all the groomsmen to indicate that he’s willing to go down into the trenches for his wife to be and that his groomsmen have his back…, very very symbolic. While speaking to my mom I realized any man that will go through this kind of pressure for me is a keeper so let’s see what FH and his family does to prove to my family that they’re worth my hand in marriage! PS: I can’t wait to wear the attire either, what better way to say “it’s my day” than with a huge head wrap *smile*…Check these out: http://www.tyntyfashions.com/default.html

How do you feel about this culture?

Anything you’d like to know, any myths I can dispel, anything you want to incorporate, hit me up let’s chat!!!

Talk to you soon.

Cordelia

Cordelia Abrokwah and Fred Banny - Oct. 9, 2010

357 days, 17 hours, 20 minutes and 12 seconds, 11 seconds, 10 seconds. It seems like it’s me and my fiancée against the clock when it comes to planning one of the most beautiful days of our lives. First off, I’ll introduce myself. My name is Cordelia and on June 24th 2009, my Fiancée Fred made the best decision of his life; he asked me to marry him.

Fred and I met at our church in Long Island, NY. We had both been members for a few years but never took an interest in one another despite the insinuations of others that we’d “make a good match”. Somehow or another God, one day, knit our hearts and we’ve been “going steady” ever since. Fred and I are both 24 years old and while young have both endured some very tough times, both separately and together. We are so excited about our wedding and more so our marriage as we know that it’s going to be a glorious event not only for us and our families but for the One whom truly deserves all the praise, God.

Now when I tell you Fred did a GREAT job proposing, he really did. It must have taken him a lot of thought and strategy because it’s very hard to hide something from me. Not that I’m a snoop or anything but let’s just say, I’m always in the know. In any case, Fred and I had always talked about marriage and had even gone to look at rings but I just didn’t know when the big question was coming. The night of birthday we had a prior engagement so we didn’t really celebrate anything, that night at my house Fred said to me, “Babe I have to ask you a question”. I was so nervous I thought he was about to propose, boy was I shocked, disappointed and a little annoyed when he said “can I pray for you since it’s your birthday”. I’m all for prayer ya’ll but are you serious??? So anyway he prayed and I just got over the thought of receiving a proposal for my birthday…but I sure was looking forward to Thanksgiving or Christmas. Don’t know how I came to the conclusion that you have to receive your proposal on your birthday or a national holiday, but my honey knew better than to do the obvious.

So after I gave him the cold shoulder most of the next day, he calls and says he wants to take me to dinner to celebrate my birthday. Of course at this point, I’m not really caring too much about the dinner and definitely still stuck on the fact that my left ring finger is still empty despite my confidence that it wouldn’t be on the day after my birthday. Ah well, you can’t win all the time. So we went to dinner at a nice restaurant on the beach. We went out on to the sand and wrote our names and as I desperately tried to clean up the mess he had made writing his name in the sand, he called my name, I turned around and there he was on his knee with a gorgeous ring facing me. (Aw, man I just got a huge smile on my face just typing it). Anyway, not really sure everything he said because at this point I’m boohooing like it’s nobody’s business. All I know is that he said he had talk to my mother (strict African mommy) and we had her blessing, I said yes, we kissed and when we went back into the restaurant, every one congratulated us, apparently the restaurant had been in on it, they brought us out a large tray of assorted desserts and dedicated, what I now know as Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight to us.

So now, I am planning a October 2010 Champagne wedding on our Coca-Cola budget and I can’t wait to share the details with my forblackweddings.com family…Till next time!

Cordelia

We Did It!!! September 12, 2009

Mr. & Mrs. Demond Marshall - September 12, 2009




Well our day has come and gone but the memories will last for a lifetime. We had a wonderful time and it went so well. It rained like crazy all day long. However, it stopped raining just about 1-2 hours before we left to go to the church. Due to the rain, we didn't get to take the photos we wanted at the park. I’m not mad because my photographer more than made up for that. Some things didn’t go as plan, but I didn't even care because it was a great day. I had all my family and friends buzzing around. I got to see my sister, whom I hadn't seen in about four years so that was a great moment for me.

It can be a stressful time planning a wedding but in the end the small things didn't matter, nor did the worry. The wedding was beautiful!! Our photographer was one the greatest things that happened to the entire event. She is brand new to the area however she didn't falter the least bit. She has already sent us a few proofs to review and I have fallen in love with each one of them.

We spent our honeymoon at the Imperial Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. I needed the rest but the fun and food was welcomed as well.

I'm Mrs. Marshall now and I'm happy as ever.

Scroll down to view all the pictures!!!