Somebody give me a list right now or else…..By: Blogger Olivia

So my trusty on-line wedding planning guide Forblackweddings.com dictates that by now-roughly 10 months away-my fiancé and I should have an “A” list guest and a “B” list guest list…Yeah right….clearly you guys are not from the south, where word of mouth IS a formal invite and it is in absolute poor taste not to invite every single member of your great-grandmother’s church!

But, I think I can handle it because I am a PLANNER! I organize everything-down to the last detail. So imagine my surprise when I say to my fiancé, “Boo, do you have your list?” To which he replies, “Huh?? “Your list baby….of those people you and your family want to have invites sent to” I say…”Oh yeah, let me call my mom” he says…Satisfied that I am on track I pull out my laptop, log on to the website, and wait for the email when the names and addresses of the people who are near and dear to us. My honey hangs up the phone and says “she just sent it to you”. I open the email attachment mentally preparing to import the names and addresses effortlessly when I realize it’s a 13 page document. I scroll down to the last page, 223 people? Oh hell to the no!!! I say to my fiancé, “now you know this is not going to wash. We decided on a total of 250 people including wedding party and my family and friends are not even listed on here!!” My fiancé quickly turns his attention to me and we start to go through the list. Who are these people? All of your mom’s co-workers? Their neighbors’ church member? Is he in Iraq? NO NO NO!!!! I say. We agreed on 250 and 250 is what is going to be….Yes I know that there are people who have invited themselves….but we are sticking to 250…..or we are eloping!

So we head on over to his parents’ house to discuss this list. “Oh I’m glad you all are here…I forgot to put some people on the list”, his mom says. Now she means no harm and I know she is super excited, but you are WAYYYY over in your numbers! I’m almost afraid to ask my mom for her list because at this rate there will be 500 people easily…

And so the sage continues………

Olivia

“It’s not about you” By: Blogger Olivia

So how do we go about telling our family and friends that we are engaged? This question was one of the first ones, I asked Mike shortly after his proposal. A part of me wanted to yell it from the rooftops…but a larger part wanted to simply bask in our new found status. However, being from the South we already knew that news had a way of traveling at lightning speed-especially when we weren’t being the messengers so we decided that we would personally tell our families and find a better way to tell our friends.

Our chosen method was to discreetly change both our Facebook “relationship statuses”. Since it was nearly midnight by the time we left dinner the night of the proposal we figured that would be a perfect time. Little did we know that EVERYONE was seemingly online in the middle of the night, so when I changed mine I instantly started to get posts to my page with things like “haha very funny” and “you play too much” (did I mention that I have a sick sense of humor)….So no one believed me until he changed his! From roughly 12:30 a.m. until 2:00 a.m. I responded to messages of congratulations and well wishes. We felt so loved. I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

That smile was short lived, when around 8 a.m., I started receiving phone calls and questions like “oh I know I’m a bridesmaid right?” and “can I go with you because I don’t want to be wearing an ugly dress girl!” I’m sitting here thinking “are you serious?” I called Mike in tears (he was of course sleeping well). I could not believe that we were already being bombarded with all these demands and requests! We hadn’t been engaged 24 hours yet! We had even set a date yet!

But I would not be punked! I did what any self-respecting plan-things-down-to-a-tee first time bride would do in this situation. I turned off my phone…..logged off Facebook….and went back to bed!

How did you announce your wedding?

Talk to you soon!


Olivia

Mike and Olivia - By: Blogger Bride Olivia

Welcome World!!!! You have just entered the made-for-TV-movie that is our engagement and upcoming wedding. I’m Olivia and my fiancé’s name is Michael. We are both native South Louisianans and we love all things SOUTH! Our wedding is planned for November 2012, which seems like it’s a lifetime away!

My fiancé is an amazing man and let me say up front that I am blessed to have him in my life. We met at church but if you know us you know it was not at all that simple. HE STALKED ME!!!! Although we were at the same church I did not know him. He requested me as a friend on Facebook, and I accepted because he was a member of the church. My thought was “oh one of my church members”. I also knew he was related to my pastor so I wasn’t worried about him being a psycho! Well one weekend I went to visit one of my sorority sisters in Dallas. She and I had just come in from a fun night out and I decided to check my emails. I had an email from Mike and although I was hesitant to respond I did. Many emails and phone calls later and here we are...Boring story? Don't worry if you ask Mike his version, it will contain flying monkeys and unicorns!

The Proposal: After a very long and stressful week we decided to go do what we do best....EAT. We met with his sister and brother-in-law under the guise of planning a surprise event for his parents. During the evening of food and fun, Mike slipped a little black box onto the table. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the box and immediately freaked...and I guess as they say the rest was history.
Our plan is that our wedding will be a weekend of fun, family, and fellowship. It will be classy and elegant, while maintaining our southern sense of style with food and music. We can’t wait!! And we can’t wait to share our planning with everyone.

Talk to you soon,
Bride Olivia

I Vow! By: Blogger Bride Elizabeth

The past couples of weeks have flown by and now as I look at the calendar November is less than two months away. With the time getting shorter and my to do list getting longer, one important thing had yet to be done. My future hubby and I had yet to sit down and work on our ceremony and order of service. I have always felt that the ceremony was the most important part of the wedding for me. It’s the moment that you vow in front of GOD and your family and friends to take this person for all that they are, and that you will love them unconditionally. My fiancé and I finally sat down armed with a wedding ceremony book that our minister gave us to add our own personal details to our wedding ceremony. We sat down and planned together the greeting to the dismissal with blessing (smile) We were even able to sit down and pick out scriptures that are special to us as a couple. The best part was when we began to think about our wedding vows. We have decided to write our own vows. I am so excited and anxious to hear what we each have written to express our love for each other.


For the ceremony I want people to feel as though they have taken a sneak peek into our relationship. I want it to be intimate and romantic. I already know that I’m going to be a big water bucket. It is incredible to me to think about after six years of ups, downs, joys and pains. But, I will walk down the aisle only to arrive at the altar standing with my partner in life and in love. Everyone says that the moment will go by so fast. Above all else when we are in the church in front of our family and friends I want to live in the moment. I want to soak up all the love that I can stand. Oooo wee I am getting all misty eyed and emotional just thinking about it. You know, that is what it is all about that moment when you are standing there pledging your love. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Elizabeth
 

Just Breathe By: Blogger Elizabeth

As I look at the calendar on my desk that was gifted to me by a co-worker at my workplace bridal shower. I see the numbers staring at me 100 days to go! What the what!! I say. Just the other day I remember my fiancé slipping the ring on my finger and the roller coaster of wedding planning began. Even though we are as close to our moment as husband and wife. I sometimes feel like where did all the time go?

I sometimes think have I really taken the time to enjoy our engagement. Cherish these moments as a fiancé, the phase were you are preparing to be someone’s life mate. Or have I been so consumed with wedding planning that I have forgotten to soak in the moment? I have heard recently from the mom of one of my flower girls “You are handling it all with a lot of grace.” “You may be going crazy on the inside, but you are doing an amazing job of not showing your stress! “ Very impressed!” I said; well tell my fiancé that, he sees all my crazy moments.

It’s true, I have done a pretty good job of containing that inner bridezilla that all of us brides have. I must admit, I always feel as if I am forgetting something, that I will forget something. So I make sure to check and recheck the checklist. With three months left to go, I have been left uwith no choice but to “JUST BREATHE.” That’s what I am telling myself. Because I am a teacher, school starts in a couple of weeks, and I will have to place the majority of my attention on my 20 first graders who could care less that Ms. Fairley, is getting married soon. I have to Just Breathe, and know that the people I have around me like my FABULOUS wedding planning Rechelle Ward of A-ward winning events (shameless shout out), my reception venue coordinator, my fiancé, and my amazing bridesmaids and other friends and family will step in and help where it’s needed.

This wedding will go on, and even if everything is not as I dreamed it would be. At the end of it all I will be Mrs. Galbreath on November 19, 2011! So as I stare at the calendar that is on my desk, I remember to take the moments and cherish the rest of these next couple of months, to enjoy my soon- to be hubby. And just reside in the moment that we are in. Like someone told me recently “These three months will go by in a week!” So in the meantime Imma just breathe!!!

Happy Planning!

Elizabeth

Magic in the Music

The other day my fiancé and I had our wedding planning update talk. We discussed all the LONG list of things we have to do for our upcoming wedding. It’s hard to believe that it is only four months away. In spite of all the things on our list the one that got us most excited was the music. Whenever I dream about the time when my now fiancé and I would get married, I never dreamed about how my wedding dress would be, what type of flowers we would have, or even what colors I wanted (besides purple lol). The one thing that I had planned down to the tee was the music. Before I had the ring, I knew what song I would walk down the aisle to.

As you read this, at some moment in time you know you had the same thought about that special song you would use to take that walk towards your future husband to be. Yeah, I know go ahead shake your head, but I believe and always have that music sets the tone. Music has such magical qualities. You can be listening to a song on a radio and it takes you back to a memory that you thought you had forgotten. Music can take you back and you can recall what you were doing, who you were with, and how you were feeling. Music has the power to evoke emotions like no other. So before I even got engaged, I would take the time to listen to music, and I would jot a song down that I heard that I could see us using in our future wedding ceremony and reception.

The time has come that I can actually dust off my list of songs I really have to narrow down my choice of songs to use for the ceremony and reception. My fiancé and I have decided that during the time before the ceremony the guest will be listening to a collection of smooth jazz and r&b songs to set the tone and the mood. The other day while we were discussing music for the ceremony, I was excited that we actually agreed on a song for the wedding party processional. My fiancé and I defiantly have very different styles when it comes to picking out the music, the first thing he said after listening to the song was, “That’s great baby, I like the beat” I looked at him with the “say what?” look. I said “The beat, did you even listen to the words?” Nevertheless I realized that music for me when picking our wedding and reception is much more than just the beat. I want our guest to be able to listen to the words of the songs, and feel as if they are getting a intimate peek at our relationship through song. One of the hardest things for me at this moment when it comes to planning is not the invitations, picking out the right food, the favors, the dress. To me the hardest thing is picking the right song to walk down the aisle to for the Bride Processional. Before I got engaged I told you I had every single song picked to a tee, even my special “bride song”.

Now that it’s four months away, I still am not sure. Say what you want but to me next to the vows, the most intimate moment of my wedding will be walking down the aisle with my father towards my future husband. I want a song that expresses all the love, and joy, and happiness I feel as I walk towards him in preparation to become his wife. So right now I am back and forth between two songs, and only a few people have heard my choices. I know, I’m keeping my song choice under tight security, much like my wedding dress I want that to be a surprise for everyone on that day. I know that looking at bridal websites like forblackweddings.com has helped me as to given me different music choices for our wedding ceremony and reception. Just the other day I know I emailed the list of songs for the Mother-Son dance for the reception from forblackweddings.com to my fiancé to help him with his music selection. I really want to know from my brides to be and those that have already jumped the broom, is there really “Magic in the Music”? Did you know right away what your special “bride song” would be? What type of music are you incorporating in your wedding ceremony and reception?


Happy planning

Elizabeth

Don’t forget to RSVP… Please!! Blogger Bride: Elizabeth

It's five months until our forever, so I decided to order the wedding invitations. This is the only task on my to do list that causes me to cringe. Is cringe the wrong word? Maybe I should add worry into that to. Ordering the invitations signify so much, for one it means that the guest list “should” be finalized by now. It also means that I have to face the fact that we have the dreaded four letter word to worry about RSVP! I have always heard horror stories of how couples, who are getting married, always have the hardest time dealing with the guest and RSVPing. Our wedding is somewhat unique in the fact that we are deciding to give our guest a choice of three entrees at our reception. These entrees are ones that my fiancé and I especially love and are special to us and signify our relationship. The guest can pick from a Thai dish, Mexican dish, and a Classic Southern Style Dish.

On our invitation RSVP cards, not only do you have to check whether or not you will be attending, but you also must place your name beside the entrée that you would like to eat at our reception. Even as I was placing the order all I could think about was, our guest better RSVP! Most of my future brides that are in the planning process or even those that have already gone through it can relate. RSVPing is important, when people RSVP you are able to tell your caterer, or reception hall how many guest they can prepare food for, it helps the couple decided about the seating chart for the reception, as well as helping you determine if there are any extra cost that you will acquire due to the number of guest that respond by RSVP. Now I know to explain all of this to your wedding guest is unnecessary, but sometimes I wish I could, so that they will understand when I begin to do my “Bridal Hunt” for their RSVP.

My fabulous wedding planner, Rechelle Ward of A-ward winning events has graciously told me that she would handle the RSVPs and will do the “dirty work” of making sure people respond in a timely fashion. I have strategically ordered my invitations early, and I will be sending them out September 19, 2011 with an October 19, 2011 RSVP return date. Yeah, I know a whole month before the wedding. There is a method to the madness (smile). I know in the end, I can't FORCE anyone to RSVP on time, even if I whip out the “Bridal Hunt you down” threat. All I can do is do my best on my end to make things as easy for the guest as possible, and in turn making things less stressful for myself and my future husband to be.

Brides out there, and all the vets of wedding planning, what has been your experience with RSVPs and guest counts for your wedding.

Was it as stressful as people made it seem? Do you have any suggestions on how to make it easier?

Until the next time!! Happy Planning


Elizabeth

If you haven't purchased your invitations yet shop with us at ForBlackWeddings.com Invitations

Whose Wedding is it Anyway?

Have you ever experienced when you just buy a new car and your on the road, and every where you look you see the exact make and model of your new car EVERYWHERE? Well it seems that those same strange phenomena happen when you get engaged and are planning your wedding! Weddings just seem to pop up, and you seem to get invited to more and more. This year my fiancé and I have four weddings to go to (not including our own). Even though it is fun to attend weddings especially those of your close family and friends, you can’t help but to attend these weddings like an eager pupil ready to learn that day’s lesson! My fiancé joked with me at the last wedding we attended together. While in the car he said “Babe, you forgot something!” I just looked at him and said “What is it that I have forgotten”. He added “You pad and pencil, so you can take notes.”  As I rolled my eyes, I knew it was true. Whenever you get engaged and you are in the mode of planning your wedding, other people’s weddings you go to are just not a cause of celebration, they are a cause to take notes, ideas, and the do’s and don’ts o f the days festivities. You almost feel a sense of guilt while attending these weddings, because instead of enjoying the atmosphere and the whole experience of the day your spending time figuring out the small details that went into planning the day. 

At the most recent wedding I actually found myself counting the number of tables and chairs, all while doing the mathematical equation to figure out how many guest the bride and groom had invited and how many had actually attended.  I also made sure to listen to the choice of music played at the wedding, take notice and observe the people behind the scenes (wedding coordinator, photographer, and any other vendors I could see that crossed my line of vision). Okay, okay, don’t shake your head and cut your eye at me to hard. I know it’s kind of sad, but it’s almost as if you can’t help it. In six months my fiancé and I will host the biggest party and celebration that we will ever be apart of. I feel like going to other couple’s wedding is a training ground. On the ride home from the wedding we attending, as soon as my fiancé and I got back onto the road home we both looked at each other and almost immediately we said “Go, pros and cons about today!” We couldn’t help but laugh at ourselves, but we spent some time talking about what we enjoyed and what we didn’t enjoy, as well as things we wanted for our own day.  It’s almost as if anything  wedding related  not just attending wedding ceremonies has come a means of getting ideas and seeing how others perceptive on how to plan a wedding.

From visiting sites like ForBlackWeddings.com and reading blogs and other articles it seems like it’s a whole new perspective and it has you asking yourself sometimes “Whose Wedding is it anyway?  So in another two weeks, we have another wedding to attend, and you better believe I will be there with a pen and a pad taking in as many notes and ideas as I can.  I mean can you blame me? 

As you plan your wedding do you feel like you are more critical of others weddings? Or are you using the experience of attending others weddings to gain ideas for your own wedding day?

Share your thoughts!

Until next time! Happy Planning!

Elizabeth

Seeking Counsel

We finally got our books in the mail! What books, you may ask? Well, our books that we will be using to aid us in our premarital counseling sessions. Before you go shaking your head, or gasping. Yes, my fiancé and I have willing signed up for premarital counseling. We actually consider this a part of the wedding/marriage planning. I have it scheduled right in between picking out the linen and invitations (smile). It’s so funny to think when my fiancé Brandon told me his family asked him are we doing premarital counseling. He said “Liz, I told them, I thought everybody had premarital counseling”. I had to remind him, no honey not everybody does. Now, I don’t think we are better, smarter, or wiser than the next couple. We personally feel that in order to build a successful foundation we need to be equipped with the right tools. Now most may say, well you have been with Brandon six years now; you have been through hell and high water. What else is needed to determine your readiness for marriage? I believe that being with someone for any length of time is not a prerequisite for being ready to enter into a lifetime commitment. To enter into a lifetime commitment takes not only time, but thought, willingness from both parties, and communication.

Looking at the word of marriage it seems everyone has the answers for how to break up a marriage; it seems you have to go searching high a low to find out how to keep and maintain a successful marriage. Personally, I think it such a disservice to keep those answers and tools locked away. So in a couple of weeks, Brandon and I will begin our first session of premarital counseling. I am actually excited and interested in seeing what new things we will learn about each other. As well as new tools we will gain to help with conflict we may encounter and the overall building of our marriage.

Do you view premarital counseling as a positive part of wedding / marriage planning? Or is it truly based upon the individual couple whether or not they go forward with it?

Happy Planning

Elizabeth

 

Eight Months until our Forever…… By: Blogger Elizabeth

I just got a reminder email from a wedding timeline that announced to me Elizabeth; you have eight months to go until your wedding day of November 19, 2011. Eight months to go! It seems like yesterday that I was staring at my third finger, left hand in disbelief. Now I am up to my head in contracts and checklist! Times like these make me travel back in time to the day that my fiancé Brandon proposed. It was December 27, 2010 a couple of days before our official "dating” anniversary of December 31. Brandon and I met at our Alma Mater (North Carolina A&T State University) and after 5 years of long distance dating him in Virginia and me in North Carolina, we were at this point. Brandon had planned a family dinner for both sides of our family.


It was a nice French American restaurant in his hometown of Charlotte NC. I thought it was so sweet that Brandon wanted to bring our two families together. As we continued to fellowship a friend of Brandon's father came to the table, he mentioned how he met Brandon's father at a restaurant and sang to him and Brandon's stepmother Denise. He asked if we wanted a song, we all said yes, and he began to sing to the table. After the song was over, I mentioned to Brandon "Who is this guy, and why isn't he singing to us?" Brandon's dad heard this and mentioned that he could arrange for the guy to come back and sing to me! As dinner continued the gentleman came back and asked me to come up front for the song. As I sat upfront, the gentleman asked how long Brandon and I had been together, and what I liked about him. I still had no clue what was in store! The gentleman told me he was going to do a song for us, before I knew it the gentleman begins to sing the Larry Graham Song "When We Get Married". A cake with sparklers comes out with the words "Will you marry me?" written on it, the waitress brings me a bouquet of flowers. The best part of all, my handsome "husband to be" is down on one knee, with the ring asking for my hand in marriage! Of course I was in tears, and I said yes!! A million times. It has and will forever be (next to my wedding day) the greatest day of my life.


As I continue on this journey, and find myself back to the piles of contracts, timelines, decisions and all the things wedding plans bring I remind myself to take a moment and remember what brought us here. The wedding is ONE day, the marriage is a lifetime! Brandon and I are so excited about our wedding that we are planning, one that will be romantic, simply elegant and full of love!
 
What is that special moment that you go back to, to remind yourself on why you and your other half fell in love and began the journey of becoming husband and wife?
 
Until next time, happy planning!
 
Elizabeth

 

We are looking for new bloggers

ForBlackWeddings.com is looking for new brides & grooms to blog about their wedding planning stages. 

If you are getting married and would love to blog about your wedding planning experiences, please send us an email to info@forblackweddings.com.

The couples picked will need to blog at least once a month.  

Check out the posts below from our past bloggers to get an idea of what we are looking for.

We look forward to following your wedding!

Please note:  This is not a paid position however those chosen will receive huge discounts toward wedding invitations and favors if purchased at our wedding store.

Gurl, Get Your Money’s Worth - By Bride Namibia

You should not play full price for anything these days. Have you seen the signs, 20 percent off, 50 percent off, everything must go. And though the wedding industry has a reputation of gouging wide-eyed brides and grooms, it does not have to be like that.

I am honoring my budget-consciousness and my wedding will be fabulous.

In fact, this depression is forcing everyone to re-evaluate and re-price goods and services, and that includes the wedding industry.

Two months ago I had a photographer quote me $2,000.00 to take photos at my wedding. I was floored! And I told him I would like to negotiate that price, but he said that he didn't negotiate, at all—then proceeded to tell me that if a potential client did not like his prices, he always had someone else in the wings.

Of course my black woman neck started circling and I said in my head, "Oh hell no, you will not have my business." I went about my way and found other options that were better priced, and the other photographers were extremely accommodating.

I don't care what type of business patronage the first photographer claimed he had, everyone has been affected by the financial climate. EVERYBODY!

Negotiating is everything with this wedding. I am learning fast, and in some cases, in uncomfortable ways. Though I must admit, I have been getting blessed with great deals.

So let me give you some of the huge finds:
My wedding planner (who has bent over backwards) was a steal and has become a dear friend. Plus she finagled hotel rooms @ the JW Marriot Staple Center for the lowest group price rate that the hotel offers.

The wedding venue is a top-notch place that has been featured on Wedding Central. I got a 50% discount.

My future mother-in-spirit found a soap mold of the Adinkra symbol and is making chocolates as souvenirs.

I just saw some Old Navy fuchsia flip-flops I want to purchase for my circle of sisters who will be walking with me through this. The shoes are $1.49 with a 30% discount on top of that.

The flowers and decor will be purchased in the flower district in downtown LA @ bulk prices that are a fraction of flower shops.

These are just some of the savings I am using to make sure I get good quality at budget-conscious prices.

But I must stress, you must be damn near vigilante, even when you don't want to, and even when you are not doing wedding things. It is something that must become habit.

For instance, I purchased some spices at some frou-frou place in an upper-class side of town this weekend. The woman shorted me 8 cents change from the 88 cents I was supposed to get. I slowly counted my money and didn't move. She smiled, and I smiled right back and told her I was waiting for my change. She admitted that she did not have the rest and just had dollars. So I asked for a full dollar and gave her the 80 cents. When she said she couldn't do it, I told her to give me my refund.

My money is precious and I work hard. The last think you will do is short me and I accept it. I have to admit, I am still learning, but an old Jewish told me one day, "Count your pennies and you don't have to worry about your dollars."

Have you saved money while planning your wedding?

Namibia

Pam's Baby Shower

Our first "Follow the Bride" blogger Pam will be celebrating her one year wedding anniversary this week and also expecting her first child in July. We attended the baby shower over the weekend.  Congratulations Pam & Bobby from The ForBlackWeddings.com Family!

Rituals - By: Bride Namibia

Sun-Ra's family jokes about our ethnic flair by nicknaming me Afrika Bambata and him, Shaka Zulu.  I smile at the compliment. In return, I am thinking about giving them something straight from the Motherland.

On a serious note, Sun-Ra and I are getting a lot of helpful advice about the direction to go for the wedding. Many people are telling us to have a low budget wedding and a fabulous honeymoon. We are trying to balance both and are lucky that we are globetrotters and unpampered backpackers who can go a lot of places on the cheap and still enjoy it immensely.

But we gotta have a ceremony that solidifies our union to the community whether we want it or not. Rituals are important. I argue that black folk don't have enough rituals and the ones we do have we've forgotten much of the meaning.

As I was ho-humming about wedding stress, a friend of mine confirmed my inner thoughts around ceremonies and gatherings. Her story, she went to the courthouse and called it a day. Now she regrets it.

Though I would love to take the day easy, I have a 92-year-old grandmother that I will honor. That is the tradition in me that I recognize. To jump the broom in front of my matriarch is important and is just one of my blessings.  But as I put together this afro-boho-cosmo-chic affair, I ran across this lovely video of a Zulu Wedding Dance.

I think I might give them exactly what they tease me about, Zulu.

Namibia

Beauty Ain’t This Painful: Waxing By: Bride Namibia

I first shaved my legs when I was 25, and got my first wax at 31. There are many reasons why I didn't shave, but one of them was not because I was not hairy. Honey child, my legs are like comedienne/actress, Mo'Nique, beyond fuzzy to down right bush baby. You see my mom frowned on shaving, so I had to do what the old schoolers did, slather the follicles down with lotion. Then when I got older, I was au naturel for a minute, and bucked the man for an unshaven calf, but silently craved to tame the beast on my legs. However, I have some serious horror stories with shaving my pits and bikini line from razors, to depilatories, to an outrageously painful waxing that occurred back-in-the-day. Unfortunately, I have an ugly scar on my calf from a shaving experience with a straight-edge eyebrow razor. Long story, but I strongly recommend to never shave when you are pissed off at a boyfriend.

Later on I gave waxing another try when I moved to Atlanta some years ago. Shayna of "Spa on the Go" gave me a pretty low-pain experience. Actually, there was very little pain at all. My legs were fairly painless, my thighs were more sensitive, but it was a cool experience as we talked and laughed for about an hour. I was so relieved I thought my previous waxing experience when I was a high-schooler was fantasized---until I tried it on my own again. Yup, I was wrong. That shit hurt like ouch. But since waxing was out of my grad school budget at the time, I go through torture. About twice a year, I do the rip-and-yelp dance for about 3 hours and end up with smooth spots, sticky skin and small patches of blood with some fuzz. I so admire Mo'Nique, honestly I do. However, I too look at her legs and am not feeling it. Such a contradiction for my hairy self; and a person who realizes that European art emphasizes hairless women to disempower their presence, I know that much of social chagrin is rooted in Western culture.

Nevertheless I want smooth and shiny gams for my wedding and I know I gotta start now. The last thing I will do on my wedding day is walk like a bowlegged cowboy because my runway got ripped the day before.
To get my body on a consistent hairless regimen, I gave myself a full leg and bikini wax last week. Shit, it was painful. But I was adhering to the advice of my girlfriend who told me she gets it all taken off regularly. According to her, it really stops hurting. I dropped my mouth in amazement. I mean a sister of color getting a wax is more of a challenge due to our coarse hair. Blood in the pubic area is standard, but my friend swears that experience childbirth pains three times immunized her from a lot of things she thought were unbearable before.

Nonetheless, I am still asking, "Why is beauty so painful?"

love and balance http://oldnewdarkerthanblue.blogspot.com/

darker than blue

Un-blinging the Engagement Ring - Bride: Namibia

I could not sleep if I wore the annual income of an African village on my hand. So when Sun-Rah and I were talking about engagement rings (yes he wears one too) we both agreed to be simple, budget conscious, and stick to our afro-boho-chic selves. I had been searching sites for black jewelers who make African-inspired jewelry and discovered three.

After combing through all of the hideous costume jewelry sites, lackluster bands on Etsy.com, I found Glenn Lewis, a highly regarded jewelry who is from the US, but according to the site, he lives in Ghana. His jewelry uses Egyptian and Ghanaian or Adinkra symbols for rings, pendants for necklaces, intricate jewelry boxes. Oh my and his work, incredible.

Lewis was very attractive for several reasons. For one, he participated in fair trade on several levels. According to his site and some articles I dug up, he partners with local jewelers and metal companies to ensure its employees were duly compensated. Also, he has taught classes at several institutes in Ghana on metallurgy and jewelry making.  I immediately squealed and yanked Sun-Rah over to the computer screen so he could see what I've found. I emailed Lewis and waited. One week went by, I emailed him again, then about four more times and did not get a reply.

I revisited Lewis' site and saw that his last speaking engagement was in 2007. I was so desperate to get in contact with him I scoured the Internet, but came up cold, even in the obituary section. Sadly, I had to search some more and found another deliciously beautiful jeweler.
The next company I found was the Jendayi Collection, located in my hometown of Los Angeles. Sun-Rah saw several pieces he loved, and so I decided to visit the place when I visited my family. The store was in the Baldwin Hills Crensaw Plaza, a mall located in a very popular African-American pocket of the city.

The saleswoman was okay, not anything to brag about or throw away. She seemed like a family friend who needed a job, but wasn't really all into selling her cousin's jewelry. Nonetheless, the love from the husband of the owner/jewelry designing team was there and he was so sweet and cool, he became the selling point. The couple/owners make a lot of pieces for black Hollywood and I have seen him throughout the cultural circuit of Los Angeles, and he has always been a good brother. I definitely would love to support that. While there, I spotted the ring I wanted and asked about the price. It was very reasonable, about $1000, but as a grad student that was a little steep, so I kept my options open.

Then, I remembered bumping into an NYC jeweler on Myspace who makes Erykah Badu's big Ankh rings and bracelets. A master craftsman, S.o. Patah creates whatever your heart desires. I liked Patah's work, but it was too expensive and a little too gaudy for me. I wanted something that made a statement, something that was more than simple, but not ostentatious. Then I re-thought this whole recession thing and asked myself if I really wanted to spend a thousand or more on a ring at this time. And the answer was no. Sun-Rah and I decided that if and when we could, or even cared to, we would upgrade in the future. So I began to peruse discount sites and came across the perfect ring. A black onyx ring with a heart on the top. What better to say "black love" than this. Also, I read up on black onyx and found it as a stone for people to center oneself, and in the craziness of preparing for a unification ritual, the onyx was what I needed.

And you would never believe the price, $13.99! Ahhh, I love black love.

love and balance

darker than blue

http://oldnewdarkerthanblue.blogspot.com/
Glenn Lewis - http://www.glennlewis.com/
Jendayi Collection - http://www.jendayicollection.com/
S.o. Patah - http://www.myspace.com/elaton

I Am Not a Superwoman, So I Hired a Wedding Planner by Blogger: Namibia

My Wedding Planner

Eulina mentioned something that sealed the deal. She said, "Women, especially black women think that they can do it all, and when they try to do everything they end up not enjoying anything about their event."

It was at that point I hired Eulina Morris of Creating Remarkable Events. She understood me. I realized a long time ago that I am not a superwoman and have no desire to be every and anything all the time.

I am a doctoral student who holds a part time job and teaches anywhere for three to five classes. I am beyond busy already, plus I have no clue about a wedding since I wasn't the type who dreamed of how it will look or what I would wear. With my lack of knowledge of weddings, I knew I was entering into an area I was totally unfamiliar.

But I was sure of one thing. I did not want to be the burned out superwoman on my wedding day. And I want my family members to show up beautiful, relaxed and ready to celebrate. Nonetheless, the decision of hiring a wedding planner was not without a fight. I looked at some planners a couple of months ago and thought, "My sister can do that."

My sister, who we call "Pookie Bird" got married three years ago. Everything that you didn't want to happen happened. I figured that anyone who went through the hells she did, could put together a good damn wedding. She had so many opportunities to learn an abundance of lessons I guessed she was a pro after she pulled that one off.
I called Pookie and she was excited and supportive. I gave her the proposal along with a payment of services. Immediately, she was on it---asking me about colors, venues, bridesmaids, and all the particulars that I did not have an answer.

The next week she was combing Los Angeles looking for a venue that was reasonable. But life happened.  Her husband was laid off just like she was right after she had their infant daughter. Both of them were casualties of a crumbling Cali economy. Now, she had to really look for a job in between being an active mommy of three, a wife, and a conscious community member.  The next items were finding a caterer and securing a hotel, but Pookie's youngest got sick, then she caught a cold, and her car broke down again. Who had time plan a wedding?

I was getting impatient, but I had to understand my sister's situation. Nonetheless, I couldn't neglect mine.  So, I started looking for a wedding planner. I had been visiting www.forblackweddings.com and other sites to get an understanding of what I should be looking for. For Black Weddings, gives excellent tips on what to expect in wedding planning from the beginning to the end---from wedding songs to a bridal emergency kit.

I read and read, and honestly, I still didn't know what I wanted or where I was going.  I was getting so frustrated I just wanted to call it off and I was just starting. Instead of quitting, I went to research wedding planners. Since Los Angeles has a small black population, we only make up about 4 percent, I wanted to recycle my black dollars so I went to www.blacknla.com and looked at caterers. I emailed and phoned them all.

Eulina was the first one to call. I listened to what she said and wrote notes based on her tips and advice. I spoke to others, but it came down to two potentials, and Eulina's simple statement sealed the deal.  Other things that were important was she was budget-friendly, flexible, full of energy, very responsive, and listened to my concerns before I even signed a contract. I feel totally comfortable with my choice and I can't wait to jump into the process again.

love and balance

darker than blue

We Did It!!! September 12, 2009

Mr. & Mrs. Demond Marshall - September 12, 2009




Well our day has come and gone but the memories will last for a lifetime. We had a wonderful time and it went so well. It rained like crazy all day long. However, it stopped raining just about 1-2 hours before we left to go to the church. Due to the rain, we didn't get to take the photos we wanted at the park. I’m not mad because my photographer more than made up for that. Some things didn’t go as plan, but I didn't even care because it was a great day. I had all my family and friends buzzing around. I got to see my sister, whom I hadn't seen in about four years so that was a great moment for me.

It can be a stressful time planning a wedding but in the end the small things didn't matter, nor did the worry. The wedding was beautiful!! Our photographer was one the greatest things that happened to the entire event. She is brand new to the area however she didn't falter the least bit. She has already sent us a few proofs to review and I have fallen in love with each one of them.

We spent our honeymoon at the Imperial Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. I needed the rest but the fun and food was welcomed as well.

I'm Mrs. Marshall now and I'm happy as ever.

Scroll down to view all the pictures!!!

Tanya & Demond Wedding Photos - Sept. 12, 2009 #6

Getting Ready!!!

Tanya & Demond Wedding Photos - Sept. 12, 2009 - #5

Derrick and Rowe



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A Song Just For You