Don’t forget to RSVP… Please!! Blogger Bride: Elizabeth

It's five months until our forever, so I decided to order the wedding invitations. This is the only task on my to do list that causes me to cringe. Is cringe the wrong word? Maybe I should add worry into that to. Ordering the invitations signify so much, for one it means that the guest list “should” be finalized by now. It also means that I have to face the fact that we have the dreaded four letter word to worry about RSVP! I have always heard horror stories of how couples, who are getting married, always have the hardest time dealing with the guest and RSVPing. Our wedding is somewhat unique in the fact that we are deciding to give our guest a choice of three entrees at our reception. These entrees are ones that my fiancé and I especially love and are special to us and signify our relationship. The guest can pick from a Thai dish, Mexican dish, and a Classic Southern Style Dish.

On our invitation RSVP cards, not only do you have to check whether or not you will be attending, but you also must place your name beside the entrée that you would like to eat at our reception. Even as I was placing the order all I could think about was, our guest better RSVP! Most of my future brides that are in the planning process or even those that have already gone through it can relate. RSVPing is important, when people RSVP you are able to tell your caterer, or reception hall how many guest they can prepare food for, it helps the couple decided about the seating chart for the reception, as well as helping you determine if there are any extra cost that you will acquire due to the number of guest that respond by RSVP. Now I know to explain all of this to your wedding guest is unnecessary, but sometimes I wish I could, so that they will understand when I begin to do my “Bridal Hunt” for their RSVP.

My fabulous wedding planner, Rechelle Ward of A-ward winning events has graciously told me that she would handle the RSVPs and will do the “dirty work” of making sure people respond in a timely fashion. I have strategically ordered my invitations early, and I will be sending them out September 19, 2011 with an October 19, 2011 RSVP return date. Yeah, I know a whole month before the wedding. There is a method to the madness (smile). I know in the end, I can't FORCE anyone to RSVP on time, even if I whip out the “Bridal Hunt you down” threat. All I can do is do my best on my end to make things as easy for the guest as possible, and in turn making things less stressful for myself and my future husband to be.

Brides out there, and all the vets of wedding planning, what has been your experience with RSVPs and guest counts for your wedding.

Was it as stressful as people made it seem? Do you have any suggestions on how to make it easier?

Until the next time!! Happy Planning


Elizabeth

If you haven't purchased your invitations yet shop with us at ForBlackWeddings.com Invitations

Whose Wedding is it Anyway?

Have you ever experienced when you just buy a new car and your on the road, and every where you look you see the exact make and model of your new car EVERYWHERE? Well it seems that those same strange phenomena happen when you get engaged and are planning your wedding! Weddings just seem to pop up, and you seem to get invited to more and more. This year my fiancé and I have four weddings to go to (not including our own). Even though it is fun to attend weddings especially those of your close family and friends, you can’t help but to attend these weddings like an eager pupil ready to learn that day’s lesson! My fiancé joked with me at the last wedding we attended together. While in the car he said “Babe, you forgot something!” I just looked at him and said “What is it that I have forgotten”. He added “You pad and pencil, so you can take notes.”  As I rolled my eyes, I knew it was true. Whenever you get engaged and you are in the mode of planning your wedding, other people’s weddings you go to are just not a cause of celebration, they are a cause to take notes, ideas, and the do’s and don’ts o f the days festivities. You almost feel a sense of guilt while attending these weddings, because instead of enjoying the atmosphere and the whole experience of the day your spending time figuring out the small details that went into planning the day. 

At the most recent wedding I actually found myself counting the number of tables and chairs, all while doing the mathematical equation to figure out how many guest the bride and groom had invited and how many had actually attended.  I also made sure to listen to the choice of music played at the wedding, take notice and observe the people behind the scenes (wedding coordinator, photographer, and any other vendors I could see that crossed my line of vision). Okay, okay, don’t shake your head and cut your eye at me to hard. I know it’s kind of sad, but it’s almost as if you can’t help it. In six months my fiancé and I will host the biggest party and celebration that we will ever be apart of. I feel like going to other couple’s wedding is a training ground. On the ride home from the wedding we attending, as soon as my fiancé and I got back onto the road home we both looked at each other and almost immediately we said “Go, pros and cons about today!” We couldn’t help but laugh at ourselves, but we spent some time talking about what we enjoyed and what we didn’t enjoy, as well as things we wanted for our own day.  It’s almost as if anything  wedding related  not just attending wedding ceremonies has come a means of getting ideas and seeing how others perceptive on how to plan a wedding.

From visiting sites like ForBlackWeddings.com and reading blogs and other articles it seems like it’s a whole new perspective and it has you asking yourself sometimes “Whose Wedding is it anyway?  So in another two weeks, we have another wedding to attend, and you better believe I will be there with a pen and a pad taking in as many notes and ideas as I can.  I mean can you blame me? 

As you plan your wedding do you feel like you are more critical of others weddings? Or are you using the experience of attending others weddings to gain ideas for your own wedding day?

Share your thoughts!

Until next time! Happy Planning!

Elizabeth

Seeking Counsel

We finally got our books in the mail! What books, you may ask? Well, our books that we will be using to aid us in our premarital counseling sessions. Before you go shaking your head, or gasping. Yes, my fiancé and I have willing signed up for premarital counseling. We actually consider this a part of the wedding/marriage planning. I have it scheduled right in between picking out the linen and invitations (smile). It’s so funny to think when my fiancé Brandon told me his family asked him are we doing premarital counseling. He said “Liz, I told them, I thought everybody had premarital counseling”. I had to remind him, no honey not everybody does. Now, I don’t think we are better, smarter, or wiser than the next couple. We personally feel that in order to build a successful foundation we need to be equipped with the right tools. Now most may say, well you have been with Brandon six years now; you have been through hell and high water. What else is needed to determine your readiness for marriage? I believe that being with someone for any length of time is not a prerequisite for being ready to enter into a lifetime commitment. To enter into a lifetime commitment takes not only time, but thought, willingness from both parties, and communication.

Looking at the word of marriage it seems everyone has the answers for how to break up a marriage; it seems you have to go searching high a low to find out how to keep and maintain a successful marriage. Personally, I think it such a disservice to keep those answers and tools locked away. So in a couple of weeks, Brandon and I will begin our first session of premarital counseling. I am actually excited and interested in seeing what new things we will learn about each other. As well as new tools we will gain to help with conflict we may encounter and the overall building of our marriage.

Do you view premarital counseling as a positive part of wedding / marriage planning? Or is it truly based upon the individual couple whether or not they go forward with it?

Happy Planning

Elizabeth

 

Eight Months until our Forever…… By: Blogger Elizabeth

I just got a reminder email from a wedding timeline that announced to me Elizabeth; you have eight months to go until your wedding day of November 19, 2011. Eight months to go! It seems like yesterday that I was staring at my third finger, left hand in disbelief. Now I am up to my head in contracts and checklist! Times like these make me travel back in time to the day that my fiancé Brandon proposed. It was December 27, 2010 a couple of days before our official "dating” anniversary of December 31. Brandon and I met at our Alma Mater (North Carolina A&T State University) and after 5 years of long distance dating him in Virginia and me in North Carolina, we were at this point. Brandon had planned a family dinner for both sides of our family.


It was a nice French American restaurant in his hometown of Charlotte NC. I thought it was so sweet that Brandon wanted to bring our two families together. As we continued to fellowship a friend of Brandon's father came to the table, he mentioned how he met Brandon's father at a restaurant and sang to him and Brandon's stepmother Denise. He asked if we wanted a song, we all said yes, and he began to sing to the table. After the song was over, I mentioned to Brandon "Who is this guy, and why isn't he singing to us?" Brandon's dad heard this and mentioned that he could arrange for the guy to come back and sing to me! As dinner continued the gentleman came back and asked me to come up front for the song. As I sat upfront, the gentleman asked how long Brandon and I had been together, and what I liked about him. I still had no clue what was in store! The gentleman told me he was going to do a song for us, before I knew it the gentleman begins to sing the Larry Graham Song "When We Get Married". A cake with sparklers comes out with the words "Will you marry me?" written on it, the waitress brings me a bouquet of flowers. The best part of all, my handsome "husband to be" is down on one knee, with the ring asking for my hand in marriage! Of course I was in tears, and I said yes!! A million times. It has and will forever be (next to my wedding day) the greatest day of my life.


As I continue on this journey, and find myself back to the piles of contracts, timelines, decisions and all the things wedding plans bring I remind myself to take a moment and remember what brought us here. The wedding is ONE day, the marriage is a lifetime! Brandon and I are so excited about our wedding that we are planning, one that will be romantic, simply elegant and full of love!
 
What is that special moment that you go back to, to remind yourself on why you and your other half fell in love and began the journey of becoming husband and wife?
 
Until next time, happy planning!
 
Elizabeth

 

We are looking for new bloggers

ForBlackWeddings.com is looking for new brides & grooms to blog about their wedding planning stages. 

If you are getting married and would love to blog about your wedding planning experiences, please send us an email to info@forblackweddings.com.

The couples picked will need to blog at least once a month.  

Check out the posts below from our past bloggers to get an idea of what we are looking for.

We look forward to following your wedding!

Please note:  This is not a paid position however those chosen will receive huge discounts toward wedding invitations and favors if purchased at our wedding store.

Gurl, Get Your Money’s Worth - By Bride Namibia

You should not play full price for anything these days. Have you seen the signs, 20 percent off, 50 percent off, everything must go. And though the wedding industry has a reputation of gouging wide-eyed brides and grooms, it does not have to be like that.

I am honoring my budget-consciousness and my wedding will be fabulous.

In fact, this depression is forcing everyone to re-evaluate and re-price goods and services, and that includes the wedding industry.

Two months ago I had a photographer quote me $2,000.00 to take photos at my wedding. I was floored! And I told him I would like to negotiate that price, but he said that he didn't negotiate, at all—then proceeded to tell me that if a potential client did not like his prices, he always had someone else in the wings.

Of course my black woman neck started circling and I said in my head, "Oh hell no, you will not have my business." I went about my way and found other options that were better priced, and the other photographers were extremely accommodating.

I don't care what type of business patronage the first photographer claimed he had, everyone has been affected by the financial climate. EVERYBODY!

Negotiating is everything with this wedding. I am learning fast, and in some cases, in uncomfortable ways. Though I must admit, I have been getting blessed with great deals.

So let me give you some of the huge finds:
My wedding planner (who has bent over backwards) was a steal and has become a dear friend. Plus she finagled hotel rooms @ the JW Marriot Staple Center for the lowest group price rate that the hotel offers.

The wedding venue is a top-notch place that has been featured on Wedding Central. I got a 50% discount.

My future mother-in-spirit found a soap mold of the Adinkra symbol and is making chocolates as souvenirs.

I just saw some Old Navy fuchsia flip-flops I want to purchase for my circle of sisters who will be walking with me through this. The shoes are $1.49 with a 30% discount on top of that.

The flowers and decor will be purchased in the flower district in downtown LA @ bulk prices that are a fraction of flower shops.

These are just some of the savings I am using to make sure I get good quality at budget-conscious prices.

But I must stress, you must be damn near vigilante, even when you don't want to, and even when you are not doing wedding things. It is something that must become habit.

For instance, I purchased some spices at some frou-frou place in an upper-class side of town this weekend. The woman shorted me 8 cents change from the 88 cents I was supposed to get. I slowly counted my money and didn't move. She smiled, and I smiled right back and told her I was waiting for my change. She admitted that she did not have the rest and just had dollars. So I asked for a full dollar and gave her the 80 cents. When she said she couldn't do it, I told her to give me my refund.

My money is precious and I work hard. The last think you will do is short me and I accept it. I have to admit, I am still learning, but an old Jewish told me one day, "Count your pennies and you don't have to worry about your dollars."

Have you saved money while planning your wedding?

Namibia

Pam's Baby Shower

Our first "Follow the Bride" blogger Pam will be celebrating her one year wedding anniversary this week and also expecting her first child in July. We attended the baby shower over the weekend.  Congratulations Pam & Bobby from The ForBlackWeddings.com Family!